VALLEY Parenting : Surviving the Teen-Age Years : Getting Around Cliques

When children are lonely and unpopular, a parent’s heart aches. Woodland Hills psychologist Diane Ross Glazer suggests the following tips to help youngsters forge friendships:

* Encourage your child to get involved in campus clubs and extracurricular activities, such as Girl or Boy Scouts, martial arts, sports or choir.

“Find something they are good at to help the child feel accomplished,” Ross Glazer suggests. In addition to boosting self-esteem, such activities enable students to meet others who share their interests.

* Let your child fit in.

“It is so important that kids look like each other during the junior high years,” says Ross Glazer, who permitted her son to pierce his ears. “I wasn’t wild about it, but it made him feel good,” she recalls. “Parents need to allow some latitude for experimentation.”

* Encourage your child to invite one or two children home after school or on weekends.

“Do whatever you can to promote friendship of at least one other child,” Ross Glazer says. “Rent movies. Make popcorn. It is not so important that children belong to a clique, but it is important that they have at least one good friend.”