Replacement fever-catch it! In our last column,...

Replacement fever-catch it! In our last column, we mentioned that if the baseball season opens with replacement players, an appropriate luminary should be chosen to throw out the first ball at Dodger Stadium.

And we asked you civic-minded readers for nominations. We’re sure that owner Peter O’Malley will be grateful for the overwhelming response.

First, just to keep the suspense at an unbearable pitch, we’ll name the runners-up in the competition. They are:

* Actor Tony Curtis, star of the movie “The Great Impostor” (suggested by Harvey Glass).

* A pitching machine (Dan Olincy).

* Dr. Kevorkian “since baseball is clearly in the process of committing suicide” (T.R. Savage).

* Tonya Harding “because the owners and both the striking and replacement players deserve to have their knees whacked” (Wei Liang Yu).

* Frank Lorenzo, the former Continental Airlines president who “declared bankruptcy, abrogated the union contracts and then hired replacement pilots, mechanics and flight attendants” (Dean Chantiles).

* Impersonator Jim Bailey “doing, say, a Judy Garland impersonation” (Carol Anne Seflinger).

* Robert Shapiro, “Howard Weitzman’s replacement in ‘O.J.--The Never-Ending Story’ ” (Jane Garcia). (Of course, it seems as though Shapiro has been virtually replaced himself.)

* “The ‘men only’ plastic surgeon who advertises in The Times; he certainly has the necessary experience with picking scabs” (Mitch Stone).

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And the winner: Ron Spiller, speaking for several other voters, said that “since the President of the United States traditionally throws out the first ball,” the starting hurler should be “our only living Replacement President: Gerald Ford.” (We chose Ford over Bill Clinton, even though Mark Scott argued that Clinton “caused the replacement of countless Democrats last November.)

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Safety instructions: Jim Dodds cautions that ex-President Ford “should be required to heave the ball in the general direction of the stands in order to increase the odds of hitting the field.”

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In the bullpen: If Ford can’t attend (or should refuse the honor), Joel Elkins and Colleen Bennett each have an alternate in mind: actor Kevin Kline, who portrayed a man impersonating the President in “Dave.”

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Now, for the replacement National Anthem singer: We received so many worthy suggestions that we added this category so we could mention the candidate proposed by Mark Scott and Amy Lawrence--Faye Dunaway. Then again she was only a near replacement in “Sunset Boulevard” so we’re going to give her the Andrew Lloyd Webber treatment and instead award the gig to:

Milli Vanilli!

Ed Magana and Aubrey Compton each championed the dynamic lip-syncing duo. But the most touching endorsement came from a third reader. It said:

“I’m aware that other readers may suggest these Grammy frauds, but I feel that I should win the contest because of the unfortunate similarity of my last name and the subsequent teasing I received.”

It was signed: Kathleen Vanillo.

miscelLAny Finally, what about replacement player commercials? We thought we were hearing one when a radio announcer began, “Hey, Tommy Lasorda, where is Southern California’s newest team?” But it was a pitch for a Signal Hill car dealership. Then again, who knows? Some of the car dealers may be wearing Dodger Blue on opening day.