Get These Guys Some Maps Now

Very soon now, 64 schools will begin play in the NCAA basketball tournament and none of the remaining 63 is superior to UCLA. I hope this is UCLA’s year. I think this is UCLA’s year.

A long, long time has passed since NCAA supposedly stood for “No Chance Against Alcindor.” But we saw proof again in Sunday’s 18-point victory at Louisville that, even without a mighty Lew Alcindor-like presence beneath the hoop, even with the center position having gone from A to Zidek, nevertheless, this season’s UCLA team can play with anybody.

You don’t beat Kentucky in the second game of the season and come full circle by beating Louisville without being one hell of a basketball team. Particularly with neither game being played in your gym.

What this means is that the Bruins have all but assured themselves of a No. 1 seeding in the entire NCAA tournament. It means that instead of an Alabama Birmingham (1990), a Penn State (1991), a Louisville (‘92), an Iowa State (‘93) or even a Tulsa, their opening opponent this time will be a Florida International or a North Carolina A&T; or a Wright State or some such million-to-1 shot.

My advice to UCLA?

Play that team like it’s Arkansas.

Play that team as if it’s the toughest one in the tournament. Play that team as though your life depends on it. Dive after every loose ball. And, above all else, never, never, never say that you have never heard of this school. Never say that you don’t know where it is. Say that you were thinking of enrolling there yourself. Please, don’t anybody say: “Florida International, that’s an airport, isn’t it?”

Here are some quotes UCLA players can jot down for future use, just in case:

“North Carolina A&T;? (Insert name of actual opponent here.) Oh, yeah! All my friends wanted to go there.”

“I wore a Wright State jersey to the mall the other day!”

“My Mom and Dad and I got it down to UCLA, Duke and Florida International before we finally chose UCLA for the academics.”

What to say is always tricky. Jim Harrick the other day was talking about his team and straining to hold his tongue. It is a coach’s greatest tightrope act to speak with confidence and caution simultaneously. Harrick was going on about how “being ranked No. 1 has no meaning whatsoever” and so forth, when abruptly he stopped and nobody else spoke up.

Harrick heard his own words and broke up laughing.

He knew it same as we knew it. You say things with a wink. You say what needs saying. “We don’t necessarily want to be No. 1” doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t want to be No. 1. It means you don’t want anybody thinking that you think you should be No. 1.

Somebody always ends up mentioning “the extra pressure” of being ranked No. 1, as though being No. 1 makes playing Louisville more difficult than being No. 21.

Trouble is, it isn’t easy to be 23-2 in the record book and be humble. It can make you sound scared. It can make you feel vulnerable.

Perhaps sensing this, Harrick made an interesting comment the other day. After watching his first-rate outfit win five hard games over a span of 11 days, the coach said: “This team gives me confidence.”

The Bruins play with confidence, without being smug. Confidence makes people admire you, even dread you. Arrogance makes people dislike you, pull against you.

UCLA is playing much like those good Michigan teams of the last few years, only with a lot less taunting and woofing. Those Fab Five teams, they could talk the talk, but they couldn’t walk the walk. They should have saved their bragging for after the championship game.

In a single-elimination format, you can always go down. UCLA had Michigan stone-cold dead two years ago, up by 13 at halftime, only to lose by two in overtime.

Now, I don’t happen to think that Florida International will give UCLA this kind of test.

Florida International is in the NCAA tournament with a record of 11-18. Now isn’t that special?

I believe the Golden Panthers will get a No. 16 seeding and draw the Bruins in the first round. I believe the Golden Panthers have one chance to win this ballgame, and that is a 6.6 quake in Westwood.

But before tipoff of that big UCLA-FIU game, remember, Bruin players and fans: Nothing but nice things about the opponents.

Please, nobody say: “Florida International? Isn’t that a house of pancakes?”