What? F. Lee Bailey has moved in...

What? F. Lee Bailey has moved in next door?Gilbert Bahn of Moorpark writes that “after much reflection, I suggest that Only in L.A. is the appropriate place for this survey. Of all among the O.J. trial cast, whom would you be most willing to welcome as a neighbor, and who would most displease you in that association?”

A fine idea for a reader contest (“appropriate place” was a compliment for Only in L.A., right?). Luckily, we have some appropriate new prizes--including copies of “The 1995-96 Witches’ Almanac”--to award those with the most interesting responses. Mail only please (Only in L.A., Times Mirror Square, L.A., CA 90053).

We are adding a second category, prompted by this trial: Who in the O.J. cast would you be most willing (or least willing) to accept as a house guest?

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Is there a waiting room for relatives?After seeing today’s sign on Pacific Coast Highway, David and Pensri Jarvis of Santa Monica said they couldn’t help but come up with a few jokes, such as “Canarian sections performed here. . . .” After all, they’re only human.

Don’t you dare call it a mayoral gong show: The L.A. vs. N.Y. competition to host the 1996 Grammy Awards is heating up.

A New York television station recently played a tape of a press performance of “Damn Yankees” in which New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani sang with Jerry Lewis. L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan then challenged Giuliani to a reciting duel.

“He (Riordan) said, ‘I’ll play the piano and you sing. And may the best mayor win the Grammys,”’ reported Noelia Rodriguez, a Riordan spokeswoman.

So far, Giuliani’s office has been mute.

For good reason, Rodriguez says, adding: “He (Giuliani) can’t carry a tune to save his city.”

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The educational side to the Menendez case: Defense lawyers for Erik and Lyle Menendez surveyed 800 potential jurors by telephone recently in an attempt to prove that the brothers cannot be tried together fairly for the shotgun murders of their parents. The legal brief they submitted also contained this incidental data, produced by Survey Sampling Inc. and Strategic Mapping:

* Total households: California--10,968,742, L.A. County--3,066,785.

* Total households with telephones: California--10,655,602; L.A. County--2,962,225.

* Percentage of households with telephones: California--97%; L.A. County--97%.

And here’s the best statistic:

* Percentage of telephone households with unlisted numbers: California--64%; L.A. County--67%.

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You never know where you’re going to find an O.J. viewing area: On Sunday, John Lax entered a beach restroom commonly used by street people at Marina del Rey and noticed a TV set sitting on an upside-down trash can. It was plugged in and operational.

miscelLAny The birthdays of celebrities Marlon Brando (April 3, 1924), Shirley MacLaine (April 24, 1934), and Bob Dylan (May 24, 1941) are listed in “The Witches’ Almanac”--in the “Moon Calendar” section. We’re sure they feel honored.