Maybe This Guy’s Not Even a Real Replacement Player

Peter Gammons of the Boston Globe on Cincinnati replacement first baseman Ray Martinez:

“He said he was from San Pedro de Marcoris in the Dominican, the minor league people say he’s from Puerto Rico. He says he’s 30, the stats people say 32. He says he played on every level, the stats say he topped out in (Class) A ball. Now he says his name is Ray Williams.”

Can’t a guy change his name?

Trivia time: Who are the only two active college basketball coaches who have coached and played in the NCAA men’s Final Four?

Classy comment: Hakeem Olajuwon, borrowing a line from Charles Barkley’s deodorant commercials to describe how he felt about Michael Jordan’s return to the NBA: “Anything else would have been uncivilized.”

Ouch!Johnny Oates, Houston manager, on the difficulty of satisfying Astro management without alienating striking major leaguers: “I’m straddling a tall fence, and I’m not very tall. My inseams are 29 and the fence is 36 inches high.”

With whipped cream?Nick Cafardo in the Boston Globe: “The Rangers used to have ‘the Express’ in Nolan Ryan. Now they have ‘Express-O.’ Their best starting pitcher in camp has been right-hander Tom Arrington, who was not drafted after pitching for Texas A&M; in 1984-85.

“He was working in a Mill Valley, Calif., coffee shop, serving espresso, when scout Alan Regier persuaded him to try replacement ball.”

Empathy: President Clinton, greeting the Stanley Cup champion New York Rangers at the White House recently, praised goalie Mike Richter, saying: “All of us in Washington can appreciate what goalies do because we have so many shots taken at us every day.”

No kidding: Another Ralph Kinerism as reported in The Sporting News: “It’s caught out in center field by the center fielder.”

Looking back: On this day in 1950, City College of New York defeated Bradley for the NCAA basketball championship, 71-68, becoming the only team to win the NCAA and NIT titles in the same year. Earlier, CCNY had beaten Bradley in the NIT title game, 68-61.

Trivia answer: Dean Smith of North Carolina, who played for Kansas in 1952 and ‘53, and Bob Knight, who played for Ohio State in 1960, ’61 and ’62.

Quotebook: Joe Torre, St. Louis manager, when told he has been much funnier this year: “That’s my replacement personality.”