Letterman mediates the L.A. vs. N.Y. war:...

Letterman mediates the L.A. vs. N.Y. war: A week ago, New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani was given the chance to read a new slogan for his city on CBS’ “Late Show With David Letterman.” The only twist was that he had to choose from a list of slogans prepared by Letterman’s writers.

Giuliani rejected:

* “New York: Home of the $6 Cup of Coffee”

* “New York: We’ve Got Great Coyotes”

* “New York: The Bus Fumes Are Free”

* “New York: Rudyrrific”

(The first three sounded fine to us.)

Anyway, Giuliani chose instead: “New York: We Can Kick Your City’s Ass.”

The New York media, aware of the feud between the Big Apple and the Big Orange over who should host the Grammys, asked L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan to respond. Riordan told one television interviewer with a straight face that L.A.’s slogan should be: “Los Angeles Is the Whole World and Don’t You Blanking Forget It.”

Boys, boys . . .

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The slogan hunt continues: We don’t know why but Letterman evidently thought his writers could come up with a snappier message for L.A.

So, Riordan was invited on the show Wednesday night to pick out one prepared by that helpful crew.

The mayor chose: “L.A.: Floods, Fire and Fun.”

His aide, Noelia Rodriguez, explained that “the beauty of L.A.” is that we can joke about adversity. “We can roll with the punches,” she said. “You can shake us but you can’t break us.”

True, “Floods, Fire and Fun” has some great alliteration.

But we sort of preferred one of the nominees Riordan turned down--”L.A.: Come Sequester Yourself.”

*

For the sight-seer in a hurry: Cheryl Anker-Agata of Beverly Hills is upfront about rushing her customers. Her business is called Off ‘n Running Tours and it’s directed toward joggers who want to see a part of L.A. while sweating off their hotel meals.

Price is $35, good for up to 12 miles of L.A. pavement.

One of her most popular routes is through Beverly Hills, which includes a jaunt down Rodeo Drive (no window shopping allowed) as well as run-bys of the homes of such stars as Leslie Nielsen, Kate Jackson and Carl Reiner.

She has, however, turned down several requests for a Brentwood tour.

“I don’t want to get into an O.J. trip,” she explained.

*

It’s just a new brand of dry food to them: Al Hix saw a sign on a fence on Camrose Drive in Hollywood that said, “Please don’t throw the mail over. The dogs eat it.”

miscelLAny While browsing through the Pacific Bell directory “for a new bagel place I had heard about,” Sheila Teplin of West L.A. says she “was shocked and yet delighted to find the name of my therapist Dr. Alan Yellin” listed among the bagel shops--not to mention a couple of other non-bagel makers. In the “SMART Yellow Pages,” yet. Teplin added: “Dr. Yellin has helped me stop going around in circles.”