How Mothers Get Support

While waiting for government rules that might help them, mothers do have options now to collect child support from absent fathers, experts say:

* Establish paternity. If you don’t marry the child’s father, make sure you know his full name and Social Security number. The ever-burgeoning child support enforcement case load makes “gum-shoe” investigations virtually impossible, says Leslie Frye, chief of the office of child support at the California Department of Social Services.

* Maintain a relationship. So-called “deadbeat dads” often say that they stopped paying child support because the mother refused to allow them to visit their children. While the relationship between separated parents is often acrimonious, denying the father the ability to see his children does more to punish the children than to punish the father. Children lose a psychological connection, as well as physical support, Frye says. Additionally, from a practical standpoint, the mother has less information about where the father works, banks and his financial condition when parents are not on speaking terms.

* Obtain a wage assignment order. Wage assignment orders, which force employers to withhold child support payments from worker paychecks--just as they withhold taxes--are one of the most effective means of ensuring consistent payments, says Violet Woodhouse, an Anaheim attorney and certified financial planner who specializes in women’s issues. These orders are common in contemporary divorce cases. However, they can be obtained in instances where the parents weren’t married--or were divorced long ago--if the supporting parent owes back support or is consistently late paying.

* Update. Wage assignment orders must be reinstated each time the supporting parent changes jobs. If you don’t reinstate them, you’re back to getting paid by personal check.

* Get help. If support payments are not forthcoming, go to the nearest child support enforcement agency and ask for help. Child support enforcement agencies are listed in the phone book and are often part of local district attorneys offices.