Aladdin’s Magic Lamp Might Help

Exciting news from Burbank:

The California Angels are being sold by the singing cowboy to the talking mouse.

An agreement was reached last week between the one with the big hat and the one with the big ears. Gene Autry, 87, is selling 25% of the club now, which means that Disney now owns a shortstop, an outfielder and half a pitcher.

Disney’s venture into baseball comes as very good news, and I am particularly looking forward to their Pittsburgh Pirates of the Caribbean ride. We should be seeing some wonderful innovations, including first baseman J.T. Snow White.

I’m sorry to see Autry sell, but eventually every cowpoke has to put out his campfire.

I originally wanted Peter Ueberroth to buy the Angels, because that would have meant an immediate $100 million profit. Ueberroth would have sold sponsorship packages to Burger King, Pepsi-Cola, Reebok, 7-Eleven and Hanes Underwear. Opening-day festivities would have included 88 pianos, Lionel Ritchie and somebody carrying a torch through Orange County.

I also thought Jerry Buss might buy the club, which could have resulted in, oh, you know, Angel Girls.

There was a time I even thought Georgia Frontiere might become the owner, in which case poor Mark Langston and Lee Smith would have had to take the mound with lipstick on their cheeks.

And then along came ol’ Dis, which in baseball used to mean Dizzy but now means Disney.

In the continuing Disneyfication of the wide world of sports, the company now owns the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, a hockey franchise now worth a reported $108 million (second-highest among NHL teams); a 90,000-square-foot community ice rink under construction; a sports complex for international amateur events being built in Orlando, Fla., and an auto-racing oval at DisneyWorld to be used for major races.

I presume this will become home to the Indiana Jones 500.

In taking over the Angels, however, the Disney empire is taking on its toughest challenge ever. I honestly believe that after owning the Angels for a few months, Michael Eisner will trade the team to Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen for whatever spare change they have in their pockets.

Come to think of it, I would trade my house to Spielberg, Katzenberg and Geffen for whatever change they have in their pockets.

As a baseball organization, the Angels remind me of the sexy wife of popular Disney employee Roger Rabbit, a lady who once said: “I’m not bad. I’m only drawn that way.”

The Angels always look bad on paper.

Not since the Cowboy dug into his gold dust and paid for Reggie Jackson, Fred Lynn, Doug DeCinces and Rod Carew have the Angels actually looked like a solid contender before a season began, which is when people buy season tickets.

Otherwise, this is a franchise that makes the Cubs, Red Sox and Indians feel great about themselves. At least those teams have been in a World Series.

But Disney does work miracles.

Consider the recent movie “Angels in the Outfield,” featuring right-handed pitcher Tony Danza and manager Danny (Sparky) Glover. In this film, actual angels enter the picture to help California win games.

The first miracle is that Disney got these angels to abandon the Pittsburgh Pirates, who had received the heavenly help in the original film. I guess the Pirates of the ‘90s weren’t as needy.

The second miracle is that Disney didn’t have Danza and Glover go to the electric chair in the end, screaming and crying. (No, wait. That was “Angels With Dirty Faces,” with Jimmy Cagney.)

The third miracle could be the signing of Jerry Lewis to play the devil in Disney’s next project, “Damn Angels.”

And the ultimate miracle?

The 1995 World Series.

Disney now has a quarter interest in an honest-to-goodness contender for the American League pennant. Yes, the Angels are still in the race . . . and it’s almost June!

I think Disney’s association with baseball could be a profitable one, at least until that mouse speaks to his union representative and walks out in mid-cartoon.