Grads who don’t wear shoes: Yale specializes...

Grads who don’t wear shoes: Yale specializes in turning out lawyers, the University of Chicago produces economists, MIT is famous for its engineers, and Santa Monica College . . . Well, Santa Monica College specializes in turning out lifeguards--probably more than any school in the nation.

When the college held a fund-raising dinner to honor former swim coach John Joseph the other night, nearly 100 grads turned out, and three-quarters of them were active lifeguards in L.A. County, including the chief, a captain and four lieutenants.

They donned thongs, along with Hawaiian shirts, jeans--formal dress, for lifeguards.

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Taking a tough line on absenteeism: A Downtown source showed us the April minutes of the L.A. County Small Craft Harbor Commission, which make it appear that the board is resorting to capital punishment for members who fail to show.

Even though there were no objections to Commissioner Herbert Strickstein’s motion, we’re happy to report that Commissioner Carole Stevens’ sentence has since been commuted.

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Plight of the iguana: Alan Gilbert of Hollywood submitted the winning entry in our Missing Lizard of the Week competition.

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The Dahlia mystery lives on: Get a bunch of veteran L.A. crime reporters together and, inevitably, the Black Dahlia case is mentioned.

The murder of Elizabeth Short, a Massachusetts runaway who journeyed to Hollywood hoping to be discovered, came up several times during a “News Through the Decades” program sponsored by the Society of Professional Journalists.

The case has never been solved, though more than 50 people confessed in the days after the discovery of her body on Norton Avenue, near 39th Street, on Jan. 15, 1947.

We surveyed reporters from that era at the SPJ event and were reliably informed that she was murdered by (a) a nightclub owner (b) a doctor (c) a traveling salesman, and (d) a female lover.

Coincidentally, we recently came upon the latest book on the case, which offers still another solution. Written by Janice Knowlton (with Michael Newton), it contains Knowlton’s claim that she witnessed the murder but repressed the memory until a few years ago. The book’s title: “Daddy Was the Black Dahlia Killer.”

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The anagrams keep pouring in: Now, Joel Elkins of West Hollywood submits these reshufflings of the letters in Los Angeles’ name:

* “In recognition of L.A.’s ever-fluctuating real estate market: LONG LEASES.”

* “In recognition of L.A.’s reliance on its automobile: GASSOLLEEN.”

* “In recognition of L.A.’s longest sports tradition: ANGELS LOSE.” (a tradition that’s in danger this year)

And, of course:

* “In recognition of the trial of the decade: O, LEGALNESS.”

miscelLAny British Airways’ on-board movie about L.A. recommends, among places to visit, the Spruce Goose. What the airline doesn’t say is after you land in L.A., if you want to see the Goose, you need to make a connecting flight to McMinnville, Ore.