His Game Is So Much Bigger Than His Name

He is the world’s greatest basketball player, but I bet not everybody from your family has heard of him. He is better today than Michael Jordan. He was chosen out of college ahead of Jordan. So how come his face isn’t on cereal boxes?

Is it because he’s:

--From Africa?

--From Houston?

--Or what?

You tell me. The man has accomplished so much more than Charles Barkley, than David Robinson, than Larry Johnson. So why isn’t he the one on TV selling burgers, pizza or cola? Is it because he won’t trade yucks with Daffy Duck, because he won’t clown around in his grandmother’s dress? Or is it simply because nobody ever asked?

There is nothing wrong with his English, if that’s what you’re thinking. Nothing wrong with his personality, either. He is certainly more comprehensible than Dennis Rodman or Patrick Ewing, more amiable than Alonzo Mourning or John Stockton, more willing to stand for goodness than Barkley. Well-spoken, well-dressed, dignified, that’s him. Any ad agency’s client should be tickled to have him pump hands at their cocktail parties.

But no, nobody thinks of Hakeem Olajuwon first. Nobody asks him to pitch their corn flakes or radial tires.

National magazines don’t profile him; no, instead they profile Reggie Miller, for having a great game or two at Madison Square Garden, for talking trash. They ask Shaquille O’Neal to hawk their products, even though Hakeem’s the one whose team played for the NCAA championship, not Shaq’s. Hakeem who won an NBA title, not Shaq. Hakeem who once was voted MVP, not Shaq. Hakeem who was chosen ahead of Jordan and outlasted him, not Shaq.

What’s at work here?

Xenophobia?

Some form of subtle, anti-African sentiment?

“They think we live in tents,” Olajuwon once said about people who hear he hails from Nigeria, from the modern metropolis of Lagos.

What is it? His name? Do people have trouble pronouncing it? (It’s no more difficult than Kareem’s.) Is it because Hakeem the Dream wasn’t on our “Dream Team” in the Olympics? (He wants to play for us in 1996.) Is it because he is never on the sports page for anything other than sports? (No arrests, no holdouts, no tantrums, no suspensions, no scandals.)

Do they think he’s standoffish? Sullen?

A reporter once reluctantly contacted Hakeem before the 1994 World Cup, to ask him about Nigeria’s soccer prospects. It turned out to be one of the nicest interviews he ever had. Hakeem said, “Call me back, as soon as you know how Nigeria does.” The guy did, with news of a Nigeria victory. Hakeem screamed over the phone with delight.

So what’s the hangup? What’s Michael Jordan got that this guy ain’t got? Kids should say, “I wanna be like Hakeem.”

Tall, dark, handsome. Leading scorer in the NBA today. And not just some big man who blocks shots and dunks, but a smoothie with an endless number of moves. Shaquille O’Neal with a jumper. So what’s Shaq got that this guy ain’t got?

Someone will wonder if Hakeem suffers from playing in Houston, which is not one of the three major U.S. markets. This is such unbelievable bunk. Robinson plays in San Antonio. Barkley plays in Phoenix, via Philly. O’Neal plays in a Florida town with a 1980 census population figure of 128,291. If you are popular, people will find you. You can be a quarterback in Green Bay or a hockey player in Edmonton, people will find you.

Thus begs the question:

Why isn’t Hakeem more famous?

Where are his jerseys in the Foot Lockers and school playgrounds? Where is his biography, his coffee-table photo album? Why do Deion Sanders and Nancy Kerrigan host “Saturday Night Live” but not him? How long must Hakeem hang around? What else must he do that he hasn’t done? Score 100 points? Bet $100,000 on golf? Tattoo his arms? Make a “choke” gesture? Demand that his coach be dumped? Slap a guy in a bar?

He isn’t from some tent; he’s the greatest basketball show on Earth. The Dream’s game is better than ever; Air Jordan’s is not. Yet how much do you know about this man? Is he married or single? Does he like to golf or go fishing? If you showed a picture of his face to your neighbors, could they identify him?

Here’s to you, Hakeem.

You’re the least famous legend we ever had.