FAMILIES : Thailand : Retiree Remains in Bangkok for Sake of Grandchildren : Former civil servant forgoes rural living to help his children survive the pressure of modern world.

When he retired as a civil servant three years ago, Wichet Lansucheep and his wife had a nest egg and their choice of inexpensive, panoramic rural locales in which to enjoy their newfound leisure.

Instead, Wichet bought a house in a boo man , a huge development on the fringes of Bangkok. In a move rare in the hectic Thai rat race, Wichet and his wife decided to stay in the city with the succeeding generations of their growing family.

Wichet, 63, and Sirirat, 59, have four daughters and a son. All but one is married with children of their own. Clearly, the grandparents were influenced by both economic and sentimental reasons when they decided to remain in the capital. In the past, a Thai family could make ends meet with one income, but that is no longer the case. All of the children and their spouses have jobs, and that creates child care problems. Enter the grandparents.

At the time of his retirement from the Finance Ministry, Wichet and his wife were living in the northern city of Chiang Mai. Their first daughter, Nantaporn, had bought a townhouse in Bang Bua Tong, a new development in Bangkok with 6,000 families. So the couple bought a townhouse next to hers for about $18,000.

Their second daughter, Chanissa, a 37-year-old lawyer, bought a townhouse nearby and their fourth daughter, Walapa, a nurse, moved into her parents’ house along with her husband and young son.

“All the kids go to school now,” Wichet noted. “They come home earlier than their parents. There is no one else to look after them. So they come to our house and Sirirat takes care of them until their parents come home.”

Bangkok is notorious for its bad traffic, and this distant suburb is no exception. The commute for Wichet’s children ranges from half an hour to 90 minutes each way. All five have cars, and two live in two-car households. But life has changed in a single generation. For instance, land prices have ballooned so much in the Thai capital that the closest affordable housing for middle-income families is 40 miles from the city center in Nonthaburi province.

Thanks to his government job, Wichet received subsidies to help put his children through private school. They all went to university, which is still fairly rare in Thailand, for only $280 a year.

“We raised our children in a very democratic way,” Wichet said, adding that they were encouraged to ask questions and participate in decision-making. Perhaps as a result, another tradition has perished--the four daughters chose their husbands without seeking Wichet’s approval.

Because they were raised in a fairly open tradition, big family decisions--such as how many children to have or whether to buy a new TV--are made jointly by each husband and wife, Chanissa said.

Another generational change is the size of the family: While Wichet and Sirirat could afford five kids on his income alone, his children have much smaller families. Chanissa has two sons, but the three other married children have only one child each and they vow to have no more.

“It’s too hard working all day and raising a big family,” Chanissa said. And like parents everywhere, she and her husband are concerned about what their two sons are doing when they are not around.

“We are worried they might make friends with those who are not good enough and they will lead them to a bad direction, such as drugs,” the mother said.

Another concern for the parents is keeping a close eye on their daughters’ friends. Thailand has an international reputation for licentiousness, but most families are, in fact, extremely strict. Nantaporn said she doesn’t believe her daughter should start dating until she is 20.

For now, the parents settle on trying to regulate television viewing--music videos are a recent arrival in Thailand--setting a 9 p.m. curfew on the box.

“Thai children are not as disobedient as American children,” Nantaporn said.

Another change between Wichet’s children’s generation and his grandchildren’s is eating habits. Traditional Thai cuisine was based on rice, vegetables and small amounts of meat or fish, but kids now want American fast food, and their diet increasingly includes milk and cheese.

“The kids love Western food when we go out to eat,” said Surapol Pumsalai, Nantaporn’s husband. “They like things like Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut, which we never had when I was a kid.”

Wichet said the family gets together every few days for a meal together. Sirirat cooks, and shops at an open-air market. Her daughters prefer supermarkets.

“It’s just like the old days when the kids were young,” Wichet said of the family dinners. “I’m really happy to see this family grow up around us.”

Profile

* Husband: Wichet Lansucheep, 63

* Wife: Sirirat, 59

* Home: Townhouse on the edge of Bangkok

* Father’s occupation: Retired civil servant

* Mother’s occupation: Homemaker

* Annual Income: Middle class