And Perhaps Use Three Bases Instead of Four

Gene Collier of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette suggests 10 ways to speed up baseball. A sampling:

--”Catchers can talk to pitchers only on days off.

--”Two strikes and you’re out; three balls and you’re on.

--”Baserunners who call time to dust themselves off will be manacled to the box-seat railing.

--”Chew nothing. Spit nothing. Scratch nothing.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NCAA Division 1-A record for most yards gained rushing in a game?

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Believe it or not: Mark Soltau of the San Francisco Examiner asks, how bad were the greens at the recent PGA Championship at Riviera Country Club?

“Some members of the media passed up a free round of golf [Aug. 14].”

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Rodman update: Woody Paige of the Denver Post wants to set the record straight:

“Dennis Rodman’s body does not look like a treasure map, and his hair is, despite what was reported here, naturally orange.”

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Smoking or non? At a recent pre-Olympic wrestling meet at the Omni in Atlanta, volunteer staff members were asked to set aside a smoking section. For the wrestlers.

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Obliging: The late Mickey Mantle once said, “I hated to bat against [Don] Drysdale. After he hit you, he’d come around, look at the bruise on your arm and say, ‘Do you want me to sign it?’ ”

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War zone? Kevin Gogan, Raider offensive lineman, was impressed with the crowd at Oakland in a recent exhibition game. He said the fans made so much noise it was hard for the home team to hear.

When asked if he’d had the same trouble at the Coliseum in Los Angeles, Gogan said, “Well, you could hear all the gunshots.”

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Opinion: Hubert Mizell in the St. Petersburg Times: “I’m convinced there is no better choice for baseball commissioner than Bob Costas. But he wouldn’t make a good puppet. Wouldn’t make a good shilling yes man for the owners.”

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Diseased club: Bernard Gilkey, St. Louis outfielder, after the Cardinals went 1-8 on a West Coast trip, getting their lone victory when the Dodgers forfeited: “There’s a fungus among us.”

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Blind ambition: Coach Tom Coughlin of the expansion Jacksonville Jaguars has a rule that coaches can’t wear sunglasses on the practice field, prompting Tampa Bay Coach Sam Wyche to observe:

“Let’s see what his cataract doctor says in two or three years. We’ll see how weak those eyes are then.”

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Smart dummy: John Eisenberg of the Baltimore Sun on heavyweight Peter McNeeley, who lasted 89 seconds with Mike Tyson: “Everyone said he was a dummy, a pug’s pug, but he was smart enough to take the money and run, which makes him a lot smarter than the people who paid $1,500 for ringside seats.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1936, Bob Feller, only 17 and starting his first major league game, struck out 15 St. Louis Browns as Cleveland won, 4-1.

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Trivia answer: Tony Sands of Kansas, 396 yards against Missouri on Nov. 23, 1991.

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Quotebook: Mark Grace, Chicago Cub first baseman, who leads the National League in doubles, noting his lack of speed: “I’ve stretched a lot of triples into doubles this year.”