SENATOR PACKWOOD RESIGNS : Accusers Express Anger, Relief : Reaction: Several of the women say they have little sympathy for the Oregon lawmaker. They look forward to ‘time to heal’ and a chance to move on with their lives.

Even among congressional colleagues who strongly believed that Sen. Bob Packwood (R-Ore.) should resign, his emotional farewell aroused feelings of pity. Better to remember a man for the best thing he did, said one, Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), than the last thing he did.

But as Gena Hutton sat alone in front of her television set in Eugene, Ore., watching the melodramatic moment in the Senate chamber Thursday afternoon, she could feel nothing but anger.

“It was difficult for me to find any compassion in my heart for him at that moment,” said Hutton, a businesswoman who was known as “No. 5” of the 19 women who accused the Oregon senator of sexual harassment.

“This man has hurt so many people over the years,” Hutton said Friday. “He has affected the lives of a lot of women in a very negative way.”

Hutton, who in 1980 served as the volunteer chairwoman of Packwood’s reelection campaign in Lane County, Ore., said he grabbed her one night after a campaign meeting. “He accompanied me to my car and, as I was getting in, he pulled me over, held me with his arms, and kissed me with his tongue in my mouth,” she said.

More than 15 years later, even though vindicated, she maintains her rage.

“He has hurt his colleagues. He has hurt people on his staff. And he’s hurt people who have put themselves on the line to help him,” she said. “All I could feel was anger, that his comments were too little, too late.”

After Packwood’s emotional resignation announcement--made just a day after the Senate Ethics Committee unanimously recommended his expulsion--several of the women who had accused him expressed a range of emotions that included relief, vindication, anger and disbelief.

“I’m really glad it’s over--we need closure,” said Gail Byler, who was a Ramada Inn dining room hostess in Portland, Ore., in 1970 when, she said, a very drunk Packwood “ran his hand up my crotch and scared me to death.”

Byler said she was especially gratified that the charges were sustained by the Ethics Committee and that its members condemned Packwood’s behavior so strongly.

“If, after all of us were so hurt, nothing had been done, then how could even one woman ever come forward, ever?” she said. “I hope it makes a difference.”

“I don’t know what would have happened if any one of us had been alone in this,” Hutton said. “This would not have happened. We needed as many of us as there were--and more.”

Maura Roche, who in 1989 worked as an intern in Packwood’s Washington office, had said the senator read sexually explicit jokes to her from a notebook he kept. “I don’t think it’s all sunk in yet,” she said. “We’ve carried this for three years and now we’re all embarking on a new phase of our lives. I feel like the weight of it is now completely lifted.”

Roche and others said it was especially important that the women were able to find and support one anther.

“It made a tremendous difference,” she said. “We relied on each other a lot. It took all of us to get through this whole thing.”

Like Hutton, Roche also watched Packwood’s farewell speech alone and at home.

“Even as I was watching it, I could hardly take it in,” she said. “It was very sad. But, also, it just brought to bear to me that this man continued to fail to take responsibility for his actions. He brought this on himself. I thought the whole thing was tragic. It was definitely an emotional moment on the Senate floor. It was personally tragic for him. But it’s been an incredible ordeal for the women.”

Similarly, Byler expressed little sympathy for Packwood.

“I certainly hope he moves on and does something with his life,” she said. “He has a lot to offer in some areas and will have a healthy retirement [income]. There’s no reason why he shouldn’t be able to do something. Leaving the Senate is not the end of the world. Most of us have never been there.”

As for Hutton, she said it was time to move on.

“I’m going to relax and have a life,” she said. “I’m going to be Gena Hutton, and not No. 5 in the Packwood 19.”

And now, said Byler, “all of us need time to heal.”