The MTA’s really in a hole now:There...

The MTA’s really in a hole now:

There was the sinking of Hollywood Boulevard, not to mention the work delays, cost overruns, safety violations, etc. As if the Metro Rail subway project didn’t have enough problems, a crew from TV’s “60 Minutes” appeared at this week’s MTA board meeting. The show is planning a piece tentatively scheduled for December.

It was inevitable that television would take notice, we suppose. We’re just surprised that “60 Minutes” got there ahead of “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”

THE WORST POSSIBLE INSULT: One of the least convenient places to have your car conk out is at the entrance to the Dodger Stadium toll booth when the game’s about to begin and innumerable fans are revving their engines behind you. It happened to John Melissinos of L.A. the other night. As angry fans pulled out to go around him, one spotted the Feinstein-for-Senator bumper sticker on Melissinos’ car and snarled: “That’s what you get for being a liberal.” The driver was in a Mercedes.

PILOT BOB’S VERDICT: You may remember the admirer of Marcia Clark, who asked her out to lunch earlier this year via an aerial banner. Well, he was back this week, giving her and colleague Chris Darden high marks for their closing arguments. We expect to hear from a pilot representing the defense today.

STICKY ISSUE: With school back in session, we resume our discussion of how to deal with gum-chewers in the classroom. (Granted, it’s not the most serious problem involving students these days). We had earlier mentioned that in our grade school in the 1950s, kids were told they could chew if they brought enough for everyone.

Another reader recalled that violators in his school in the 1940s were required to affix the offending stuff to the end of their nose and keep it there for the rest of the day.

Well, Marie Harvey of West L.A., also known as Only in L.A.’s Mom, notes that she had a science teacher at Huntington Beach High in the 1920s who took another approach: “He put a big piece of paper on the wall and said, ‘When you come in, just park your gum there.’ ”

Harvey found it a distasteful arrangement for obvious reasons. “Imagine coming in, chewing Juicy Fruit gum,” she said, “and going out with Spearmint.”

WHAT’S HAPPENING: The off-color expression “s--- happens,” immortalized in the movie “Forrest Gump” and perpetuated on bumper stickers, had spawned a number of (more printable) takeoffs. Some examples.

* “Good things happen:” Bumper sticker exhorting family values.

* “Bit happens:” Computer ad.

* “Shipp happens:” Judge Ito’s reference to the prospect of a mistrial because he allowed testimony of Ron Shipp on the purported dreams of O.J. Simpson.

* “Fertilizer happens:” Bumper sticker on a gardener’s truck.

SCAR WOULD HAVE LOVED IT: We were at a playground in Long Beach the other day at the same time that a city crew was painting the lines on an adjacent street. A mother said to her son: “Let’s go watch the lining.”

The boy was delighted--at first.

Then he burst into tears when he realized she had said “lining,” not “Lion King.”

miscelLAny When the Los Angeles & San Pedro Railroad opened in 1869, pioneer historian Harris Newmark wrote, a painter was hired to decorate the proud city’s new engine. “It was discovered too late,” Newmark added, “that the artist had spelled the name: LOS ANGELOS.” Must have been a big day for the Only in L.A. columnist of that era.