Tee Shots Were an Underwater Hazard to Him

It happened at the Vista Valencia golf course in Santa Clarita, according to an item in Golf magazine.

A woman, who will remain anonymous, teed up her ball on the first hole, then topped it into a pond about 70 yards away. In rapid succession, she hit four more into the pond.

Before she could tee up No. 6, up from the water popped a scuba diver in a wet suit. He waddled to the tee and dropped six balls at the woman’s feet.

“Here,” he said. “Looks like you’re going to need these.”

Then he disappeared back into the water.

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Trivia time: Which major league pitcher has won the most games in the last five seasons?

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The aging process: Former Times columnist John Hall recalls, in his chatty Hall Truth Digest, that it has been only five years since Todd Marinovich led USC to a 45-42 thriller over UCLA.

“Why does it seem like 105 years ago?” wails Hall.

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More on aging: Senior golfer Jim Colbert says, “When I wake up in the morning, I’m 54 years old for about 15 minutes. But after that I’m a kid again, because I have an arena to play my games. Gary Player says it takes him 25 minutes to get going . . . but he’s 60 years old.”

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For John Daly only: The longest golf hole in the world is the 964-yard seventh hole at the Satsuki Golf Club in Tochigi, Japan. It plays to a par seven.

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Fast Wolfpack: North Carolina State’s name will get into some fast company next year. When the 1996 NASCAR season opens in February, the school’s logo will be on the hood of a red and white Ford Thunderbird driven by North Carolina native Johnny Chapman.

N.C. State has signed a three-year agreement allowing the car to become one of the school’s officially licensed products.

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Fair warning: If you have any faith in the Old Farmer’s Almanac, better take an umbrella to the Atlanta Olympics.

The first three days of the July 19-Aug. 4 Games will be marked by heavy showers, the 203-year-old almanac predicts. Then three-day stretches of sun and showers will alternate the rest of the time.

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Different strokes: After the World Cup for whitewater racing was concluded at Ducktown, Tenn., John Harmon of the Atlanta Constitution reported that “athletes were so happy to talk with reporters that some thanked them for attending the race.”

Are you listening, Eddie Murray?

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How about Cucamonga? Not everyone in Pittsburgh wants to see the Pirates leave. One advertising agency has donated $25,000 worth of billboards to help keep them in town.

Among the messages: “Schenectady Pirates--Not a chance. Keep the Pirates in Pittsburgh.” And another: “Sheboygan Pirates--Gimme a break.” And: “Kalamazoo Pirates--Yeah, right.”

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Tough league: St. Louis catcher Danny Sheaffer says he has seen only one pitcher this year who can compare with Atlanta’s Greg Maddux.

“On Nintendo, there’s a guy on my computer about that good,” Sheaffer said.

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Trivia answer: Tom Glavine of the Braves, with 91, one more than teammate Maddux.

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Quotebook: U.S. Open champion Pete Sampras, when asked by Press Box anchor Tom Kirkland if there was anyone in tennis capable of beating him: “Maybe on the golf course.”