An Idea That Sounds Positively Goony

I would like to apply for the position of Kings’ enforcer. My credentials are as follows:

Happily married, father of two, 5 feet 11, 220 pounds (no fat), 22 years martial arts, many years as a street brawler, college graduate.

I’m sincere, intelligent and financially stable. I apply for this job on a part-time basis only. I feel there is a need to excite and stimulate fans--winning is not enough.

P.S. There’s still room on my face for a few more stitches and I do still have most of my teeth.

JEFF BRAGER

Los Angeles