HOME ENTERTAINMENT : Film Turkeys Weigh In for Thanksgiving
A great way to get into the Thanksgiving spirit is to toss a few well-stuffed movie turkeys into the VCR, sit back and wallow in these celluloid duds.
No turkey fest would be complete without an Ed Wood flop. If you’ve already seen “Plan 9 From Outer Space” or “Glen or Glenda,” then check out his deliciously inept 1954 thriller “Jailbait” (Rhino). Lyle Talbot and a pre-Hercules Steve Reeves star.
Cool cats and kittens will groove to the 1959 exploitation flick “High School Confidential” (MGM/UA). Russ Tamblyn is an undercover narc posing as a high school student. Jan Sterling, John Drew Barrymore (Drew’s dad), Mamie Van Doren, Michael Landon, Jackie Coogan and Charles Chaplin Jr. also star. Jerry Lee Lewis sings the classic title tune.
“Girls Town” (MGM/UA), also from 1959, is even more absurd than “High School.” One can put the blame on Mamie Van Doren as the bad girl with a major attitude who is sent to a correctional institution. Mel Torme, Paul Anka and Elinor Donahue also star.
One of the best bad movies ever made is 1967’s “Valley of the Dolls” (FoxVideo). Based on Jacqueline Susann’s bestseller, this unintentionally funny drama follows the lives of three young women in show biz. Barbara Parkins, Patty Duke and Sharon Tate star. A must-see.
If you relish really bad ‘50s sci-fi flicks, then “The Mole People” (MCA/Universal) is right up your alley. In this low-budget 1956 hoot, John Agar’s scientific expedition discovers an underground civilization of albinos who keep half-human people as their slaves.
Paint it again, Sam! Humphrey Bogart hits a bogey with the overwrought 1947 thriller “The Two Mrs. Carrolls” (MGM/UA), in which he plays a wacko artist who paints his wives as the Angel of Death and then murders them. Barbara Stanwyck plays his latest wife.
No one could devour the scenery better than Joan Crawford. And she’s at her diva best in the kitschy 1953 musical drama “Torch Song” (MGM/UA). Crawford plays a demanding musical-comedy star who falls for handsome, blind pianist Michael Wilding. Crawford’s singing was dubbed in by India Adams. Unfortunately, she didn’t use a body double for her dance sequences.
Your jaw will drop in amazement while watching the stupefying 1978 comedy “Sextette” (Media Home Entertainment). Mae West, then in her 80s, plays a sexy Hollywood star who runs into her ex-husbands while on her latest honeymoon. A perplexed Timothy Dalton plays her new hubby. Their duet of “Love Will Keep Us Together” is definitely the high point.
John Wayne made numerous classic films during his long career, such as “Stagecoach” and “The Quiet Man,” but he took a real nose dive with the 1957 “Jet Pilot” (MCA/Universal). Produced by none other than Howard Hughes, this stilted romance finds Wayne as an American pilot who falls for pretty Russian pilot Janet Leigh.
Tribute: Though British actor Sir Robert Stephens, who died Sunday at age 64, was best known for his stage work, he left behind some notable film performances. He was especially memorable as Arthur Conan Doyle’s famous detective in Billy Wilder’s underrated 1970 drama “The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes” (FoxVideo). Also worth viewing: 1969’s “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie” (FoxVideo); 1989’s “Henry V” (FoxVideo) and 1987’s “Fortunes of War” (FoxVideo).
Dada-Da-Da-Da-Da: To celebrate the 20th birthday of the classic blockbuster “Jaws,” MCA/Universal is releasing a special collector’s edition ($20) featuring informative interviews with director Steven Spielberg, stars Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Scheider and behind-the-scenes footage. The print is pristine and in the letterbox format.
Killer Bs: Tony winner Joe Mantegna, Emmy winner Martin Sheen and Oscar winner Rod Steiger are trapped in the painfully unfunny “Captain Nuke and the Bomber Boys” (New Horizons).
Sam Bottoms and Christopher Atkins headline “Project Shadowchaser 3000” (New Line), an enjoyably cheesy sci-fi thriller about an evil alien running amok on a spaceship.
Edward James Olmos and Sean Young star in “Mirage” (MCA/Universal), a sub-par “Vertigo” rip-off. Wait until you hear Young’s unbelievable Irish brogue!
Martin Kemp, Alexandra Paul, Adam Ant, Robert Hays and Henry Gibson star in “Cyber Bandits” (Columbia/TriStar), a gruesome thriller about a power mad cyber-smuggler.
New This Week: Tom Hanks, Gary Sinise, Kevin Bacon and Ed Harris star in director Ron Howard’s summer box-office hit “Apollo 13” (MCA/Universal, $23).
Critics failed to go ape over “Congo” (Paramount Home Video), an inane thriller based on Michael Crichton’s best-selling novel.
Also New: “Johnny Mnemonic” (Columbia/TriStar); “Fluke” (MGM/UA); “The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” (FoxVideo); and “Broken Trust” (Turner Home Entertainment).
