Weekend Escape: Nipomo : Guys ‘n’ Golf : Getting in touch with the male mystique on the Central Coast

Summer was over, the last of the long, sunny days were disappearing, the Angels and the Dodgers were down to their last respective gasps and soon it would be time to hunker down for a long winter of bill-paying, work, holiday frenzy and bad post-O.J. TV.

The only preventive medicine, we figured, was a guy weekend.

Yes. Of course. A Guy Weekend! Absolutely! My friend Art and I would climb into a James Dean factory experimental Porsche and go blasting up U.S. 101 at high speed, stopping only long enough to chow down on enormous, forbidden, high-cholesterol, darkly charred cow and pig meat in roadhouses filled with nail-chewing truckers and cattle punchers whom we would joyfully beat to a pulp in a series of epic brawls, sandwiched between rounds of tournament-caliber golf, and . . .

Wait a second, we can’t do all that. We’re both Responsible Citizens Over 40, which means that our rat-racing and bar-brawling days have been over for some time. But the golfing part sounded great. So did the trip up 101. And one little meal from the Cardiac Forbidden Zone couldn’t hurt, right? And instead of flopping in the Motel Cucaracha, how about a condo near the links?

The answer swam quickly into focus: a couple of nights goofing off and tearing up the course at the BlackLake Golf Resort in Nipomo. I had played the Ted Robinson-designed course a few times before and found it to be one of the lovelier layouts on the Central Coast, which boasts a lot of pretty courses. The 6,068-yard course, which snakes through a rich landscape of California oaks, tall evergreens and coastal scrub, is bordered by condominiums that are for rent on weekends and weekdays. The condos are roomy and bright, with fully equipped kitchens and, for $199 per person for Friday and Saturday night, you also get two rounds of golf (cart included), plus two continental breakfasts and two cocktails. That’s the resort’s Weekender Package for two. (The two-day golf package rate for four-person occupancy is $159 per person. The rates aren’t good for holiday weekends.)

OK, so it’s a little cushy for a true Guy Weekend, but hey, you need a little pampering after rocketing past Pea Soup Andersens in Buellton at Warp 6 in Art’s black Porsche 911SC. That part of the weekend at least hewed nicely to the fantasy.

The drive north, from Ventura onward, is always a joy, and the Porsche only adorned the experience. In early fall the hills of the Santa Ynez Valley are brown, but the gently rolling landscape dotted with old oaks is no less lovely. We turned off the highway in Nipomo, just north of Santa Maria, and wound our way swiftly through the tall stands of eucalyptus into the rural backcountry between the inland farms and the ocean. It’s easy to quickly feel that you’ve escaped into the forest.

The evening sun was slanting dark-green shadows all over the front-nine holes of the course when we drove up. Our condo was a couple of blocks from the clubhouse, set hard up against a sheltering stand of trees, but without a golf course view (that costs $20 extra per night). Still, the two bedrooms were spacious and furnished as well as most middle-budget hotels, and the living room opened onto a peaceful deck.

The drive up had Art and I both feeling particularly carnivorous, and as evening set in we left for a well-known roadside chophouse. Called Jocko’s, it’s located at the corner of North Thompson and Tefft roads, just on the other side of U.S. 101 from the resort.

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Jocko’s will win no prizes for ambience or decor (a painted sign outside reads, “Come in an monkey round”), but it’s known for miles around for serving wonderful cuts of beef and pork that seem to utilize most of the animal. Art ordered an immense steak and I attacked a pair of giant thick pork chops (the entrees are in the $15-$20 range), and we managed to polish off the accompanying stacks of fine French fries, the simple green salads and part of the pot of baked beans. Both dinners certainly must have been on the American Heart Assn. hit list, but they were supremely delicious, and unquestionably Guy Food.

Oddly, we both actually had an appetite the next morning, and opted for a tasty full breakfast rather than the complimentary continental breakfast, and got a $2 discount in the BlackLake Clubhouse grill. Then, after a quick trip to the driving range, we spent the next 4 1/2 hours destroying our handicaps.

BlackLake is not a terribly difficult course (few bunkers, a couple of strategically placed ponds), but we played from the blue tees, thereby lengthening the course by almost 350 yards. It is, however, necessary to hit a fairly straight ball there. The glory of the course, the mature trees lining the fairways, turn into prison bars if your ball sails anywhere near them. Also, the rough does not appear deep, but this is a deception. It’s possible to lose a ball in it, and we did, more than once.

The course isn’t hilly, particularly, but the fairways often undulate, making it difficult to get a nice, flat lie. And the greens were being aerated during our stay, making putting much less than ideal. However, I know from previous experience that the greens, when not being thus tended, are quite fair and smooth.

By the time we finished flailing our way through a very dicey 18, it was midafternoon and Art and I were ready for a brief high-speed road trip just up the coast to San Luis Obispo. We dumped the clubs at the condo, yanked the top off the Porsche and set out.

First, however, we opted for a bit of gentility (we had to do something to offset the monkeying round of the night before) and made a stop a few short miles up 101 at the Maison Deutz winery in Arroyo Grande. Just off the highway, the tasting room is staffed by cheery folks who will pour you some of the best champagne to be had in California. Art and I both had to try the good stuff--the Maison Deutz brut reserve--after raving about the lesser champagne, the brut cuvee. The crackers and mustard and cheese spread that came with the champagne was the perfect complement. We left for the half-hour alfresco ride to San Luis Obispo wreathed in satisfied smiles.

Downtown SLO--the area about five or six blocks square in the neighborhood of the mission--is filled with specialty shops and inexpensive restaurants and little clubs that cater to the collegiate and local crowd (Cal Poly San Luis Obispo is only a few blocks away), and we chose one of the newer places for dinner.

The Big Sky Cafe at 112 Broad St. turned out to be a good pick. Even though the sign advertising “Modern Food” sounded a little too New-Age for a hard-core Guy Weekend, the chow was top-notch. Art had the gumbo and I had the jambalaya and a small selection of three locally made chicken sausages, and we tried a couple of the many designer beers that were advertised on the blackboard (entrees in the $10 range).

Later, we walked a couple of blocks to the SLO Brewing Co. (1119 Garden St.), which makes a fine line of its own beers. Art and I shot some pool downstairs and then adjourned upstairs (for a $3 cover) and listened to a fine reggae band for about an hour before pointing the Porsche south for the night.

The music-gumbo combination must have worked because Art improved dramatically on the course the next day. I shot only slightly better than I did Saturday, but it was another perfect, brilliantly blue and cloudless early fall day on the Central Coast, and that’s worth enduring a few muffed golf shots any day.

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Budget for Two

Gas, Camarillo-Nipomo: $15.00

BlackLake Golf Resort Weekender Package (two nights), incl. tax: $433.84

Meals: $109.71

Champagne tasting: $20.00

FINAL TAB: $578.55

BlackLake Golf Resort, 1490 Golf Course Lane, Nipomo, CA 93444; tel. (805) 343-1718 or (800) 423-0981.