THE NFL / BILL PLASCHKE : A No-Brainer: Chris Miller Should Retire

All it takes is one classic Sunday, and suddenly all the NFL honks are talking football again. Three weeks to go, and not an owner or lawyer in sight. Promise us this will last, and we’ll even cheer for Jeff George:

--If Chris Miller really wants to show the football world his courage, he will retire. Now.

If Miller keeps playing, he becomes the first contact-related death in pro football’s modern era. You sickos can bet on it.

Miller’s fifth concussion in 15 months Sunday certainly convinced one person that the St. Louis Ram quarterback should walk away.

The New York Jets’ Marvin Washington, who knocked him out Sunday with what appeared to be an ordinary hit, said, “That guy should consider retiring. If he takes a hit like that and gets [a concussion], he’d better get out.”

Washington said he was frustrated in his attempt to talk to Miller afterward. He said Miller acted as if he didn’t even know where he was.

Again.

Rich Brooks, Ram coach, said, “The thing I will say is that getting knocked cuckoo happens in football, it happens in a lot of sports, it happens in life.”

Hey, Rich. You’re cuckoo.

The league can’t tell Miller to retire because it hasn’t done its homework. Its committee to study concussions has been active for nearly a year, but nothing has been proposed. With no guidelines, the league can impose no rules without risking a major lawsuit that it would certainly lose.

Boxing can do the research and make head injury rules, but pro football can’t? You tell us which sport is more cruel.

We would call for another league meeting to discuss the issue, but the only thing most owners have done at recent meetings is walk the halls, trying to pick one another’s pockets. The only concussions they understand are the ones to the ego.

--The Dallas Cowboys do not lose a home game in December to a last-place team if Jimmy Johnson is the coach. They do not lose if they have a defensive coordinator who has any idea what to do with Deion Sanders.

The Cowboys will still go to the playoffs, and will still have the home-field advantage throughout, even if Troy Aikman has to put on the headset himself.

They run the table, only because none of their final three opponents is coached by a former Cowboy coordinator. Lucky them, but two of their final three opposing coaches--Buddy Ryan and Dan Reeves--have already quit.

--The only team in the NFL with less sideline leadership than the Cowboys is the Atlanta Falcons. Yes, that was quarterback George talking Coach June Jones out of trying a 45-yard field goal that might have beaten the Miami Dolphins on Sunday.

The Falcons went for a first down, missed and the Dolphins needed only six points--instead of eight--to win.

What could George have possibly told Jones? “Hey, I know we have the best kicker in NFL history, but lemme give the ball to Ironhead.”

The Falcons will still make the playoffs because the Rams will lose two of their final three, to the Buffalo Bills and Miami Dolphins, while the Falcons win two, over the New Orleans Saints and Carolina Panthers.

--Did anybody else notice that Steve Young did not throw a touchdown pass Sunday for the first time this season? Will he be completely recovered from shoulder surgery in time to defeat the Cowboys in January? The 49er defense is one of the best in recent league history, but San Francisco will need a touchdown pass to J.J. Stokes in a big playoff game to return to the Super Bowl.

--The Green Bay Packers will win the NFC Central Division title but they could be the wild card in what appears to be a predetermined NFC championship game between the Cowboys and 49ers.

Packer Coach Mike Holmgren, who cut his teeth with the 49ers, can devise a game plan to beat them. But he cannot beat the Cowboys, who have whipped him five times in three years.

Can there be any way to get the 49ers and Cowboys to meet in the second round? We’re sick of that game, anyway. A Packer-49er matchup in the NFC championship game would be a classic.

--Anybody who is not cheering for Dan Marino after watching him in the final minute Sunday can no longer feel.

If the Dolphins can defeat either the Kansas City Chiefs at home or the Bills in Buffalo, they deserve at least one round of the playoffs. But no more. We’re sick of looking at sideline shots of defensive coordinator Tom Olivadotti, the man with the world’s thickest eyebrows.

--With Jim Harbaugh possibly out for the rest of the regular season after arthroscopic knee surgery, even final games against three losing teams cannot save the Indianapolis Colts.

--Even Bobby Beathard’s wisdom--Aaron Hayden?--cannot save the San Diego Chargers.

--The real battle in both conferences is for home-field advantage, particularly in the AFC. If the Chiefs get it, they go to the Super Bowl. They don’t, they won’t.

Few teams in football are more dependent on their own environment. In jet-engine loud Arrowhead Stadium, the Chiefs are 6-0 this year and have won 27 of their last 32 games.