And on that note . . .Even...

And on that note . . .

Even the folks who teach traffic school classes can relate horror stories of their own about life behind the wheel. Instructor Glenn Maples told one class in Long Beach about the time he returned to his car at a Target parking lot only to find a ding on it. He was momentarily relieved to see a note on the car.

It said: “Everybody standing around me right now thinks I’m leaving you my name and phone number. Ha ha ha!”

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HE SHOULD STOP LEAVING HIS KEYS IN THE IGNITION: Gordon Dressel of La Quinta read in a local newspaper that a state Department of Fish and Game warden said, “In my whole life, I never saw a mountain lion until a few years ago. Now, the past few years, I’ve been seeing an average of four per year driving around in my truck.” And what do you do if the critters leave a ding in the truck?

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A REPLACEMENT FOR THE ELEPHANT AND THE DONKEY: Elinor Lynch of Palm Desert writes, “With Kermit named grand marshal of the 1996 Rose Parade, Kermit souvenirs are sure to be hawked in Pasadena.” But “none will be as irresistible” as this 1980 political button, she added. “Wouldn’t you rather vote for Kermit?” We’d even let him drive around in our truck.

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OUR TWO CENTS’ WORTH: When a local store chain had a promotion in which it offered a $2 bill for 99 cents to the first 99 customers who showed up, several readers pointed out that the company described the $2 bill as a “$1.99 value.” Rest assured, the $1.99 figure was purposely used. The chain--99 Cents Only--tries to work the number 9 into all its ads.

Hardly a week goes by without at least one reader alerting us to the fact that the 99 Cents stores also proclaim they’re open “9 days a week.”

The only time this theme really backfired was when the Los Angeles Dodgers took exception to the stores’ ad congratulating the team for its won-and-lost record in 1992. The Dodgers lost 99 games that year.

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CAN THE BUYER AT LEAST DRIVE IT OFF THE LOT? Considering the reputation of the product, we were surprised to see an electronic message board in Norwalk announcing a “Used Car Blowout.” We’ve had a few of those ourselves and wouldn’t want to invite anyone else along for the experience.

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LIST OF THE DAY: The most popular majors at selected local schools, according to “The Insider’s Guide to the Colleges, 1996,” published by the Yale Daily News.

* Claremont McKenna: Economics

* Harvey Mudd: Engineering

* Occidental College: English

* Pepperdine University: Communications

* Pitzer College: Psychology

* Scripps College: International relations

* UC Santa Barbara: Business economics

* UCLA: Biology

* USC: Business

miscelLAny:

Yale’s college guide also says that Occidental in Eagle Rock is close to “the historic and ultra-hip city of Pasadena.” No wonder Kermit wanted to be part of the Rose Parade.