Fair-Weather Fan Designs Escape Clause

In a fit of whimsy, the Chicago Tribune asked a few of the city’s architects to come up with ideas on a new stadium for the Bears.

Jack Hartray’s concept was sort of two-fold.

“Bears winning: Hot-air balloon stadium floats over Chicago.

“Bears losing: It will be released downwind to Gary.”

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Trivia time: Who was the last Laker to wear jersey No. 42 before James Worthy?

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The lure of TV: O’Neal Williams, who has a cable TV fishing show in Georgia, had to take a timeout during his expedition on the Tennessee River recently. He hooked himself on top of the head while casting.

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ShaGQ: Greg Clopton, Shaquille O’Neal’s tailor, said his 7-foot-1, 330-pound client wears a size 56-long jacket. O’Neal’s neck measures 20 inches, his chest 55 inches and his waist 45 inches.

Clopton needs 3 1/2 yards of 60-inch wide fabric to make a pair of pants for O’Neal, who gets his clothes custom made.

Said Clopton, “When you’re that big and that rich, it’s the only way to go.”

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Some like it cold: The Chicago Bulls are 8-0 at the United Center, but Michael Jordan has found a problem with the place: It’s too warm.

“It’s like a mall,” Jordan said. “I wish it was like Chicago Stadium. That place was always cold. I liked it.”

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Sorry, Gary: Northwestern’s Gary Barnett said in his first season as coach, he found out it took six victories against Division 1-A football teams to qualify for a bowl game.

“Except I didn’t know they meant six wins in the same season,” he added.

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High anxiety: Barnett asked his players not to carry him off the field after Northwestern had defeated Notre Dame.

“I’m afraid of heights,” he said.

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That’s no smoke: Northwestern is making its first Rose Bowl trip in 49 years and staying in the same hotel that Wisconsin did two years ago when the Badgers were in their first Rose Bowl in 31 years. The Wildcats probably hope they don’t have the same problem that the Badgers did.

The hotel’s fire alarm went off at 6 a.m. three days in a row. Too much steam from the health club.

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Let’s make a deal: After catching the commercial in which the 49ers’ George Seifert and Steve Young and the Broncos’ John Elway sing “Love Is a Many Splendored Thing,” Seifert got a letter from the Four Aces, who had a hit recording with the tune.

“We promise not to coach if you promise not to sing anymore,” the letter read.

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Trivia answer: James Edwards in 1977.

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Quotebook: Illinois Sen. Carol Moseley-Braun, congratulating the Northwestern Wildcats on the Senate floor: “They have proved once again in this Christmas season that miracles do happen.”