THE FAN MAIL DILEMMA : To Answer or to Ignore, That Is the Question

It can break your heart to write a letter to a celebrity you adore--and not get a response. Did you touch them in some way? Did they appreciate the information you passed on? Did they ignore the sentiments you slaved over in your note?

Or did they even see it?

Ah, the 32-cent question.

Fan mail is a thorny issue for stars. And how to deal with this consequence of fame varies widely, depending on the recipient.

Stars know that fan letters are personal efforts from people who feel strongly enough to take the time to sit down and carefully compose expressions to famous people they believe they know very well, thanks to their show-biz appearances.

Yet, while celebrities may be thrilled to see tangible proof they’re touching the lives of so many viewers, it’s also true they don’t know us like we know them. Fan mail comes from strangers--perhaps potentially threatening strangers, at that. Even the flattering sentiments expressed in these letters often can be tediously repetitive (“I love you so much! You can visit me anytime. Can I have your autograph?”). And the sheer volume of mail--hundreds or even thousands of letters a week--precludes truly personal responses. If stars sat down and answered every piece of fan mail themselves, they wouldn’t have time left to do whatever made them stars in the first place.

“You do the best you can when you get 8,000 to 10,000 letters a week,” says “Beverly Hills 90210’s” Jason Priestley. “There aren’t enough hours in the day.”

“I get so much fan mail that I physically can’t answer all of it personally now,” says Jane Seymour, whose star has been blazing brighter of late, thanks to CBS’ family-friendly “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” series.

Like Priestley and many other stars, Seymour forwards all her mail to a Hollywood fan-mail service, which ensures that each letter gets some sort of reply, usually a mass-produced photo with a printed “autograph.” While this may not be the handwritten response fans are seeking, at least it shows the letter hasn’t been ignored. “And I do get to see them all,” Seymour says. “They send me every single piece [of mail].”

Some fans try to improve their chances for a personal response by including gift items or handmade crafts. Which doesn’t always do the trick.

“I have so many teddy bears,” moans Seymour, who recently gave birth to twins. “I think probably what I’ll do is gather them together and take some pictures and publish it somewhere, so people can see them one day. We’ll give them to good causes. We’ll give them to kids who really need them.”

Stars sometimes recruit their secretaries, relatives and fan-club members to give replies more of an individual touch than the large mail services can offer.

“Party of Five” heartthrob Matthew Fox says, “My wife [Margherita] and I do it, but I think it’s getting to the point now where we’re going to have to get somebody to help us out.”

On the other hand, actor and new morning talk-show host George Hamilton used to have a service but now has his assistant handle it. “I don’t get President Clinton’s mail,” he jokes. About 90% of the letters are simply requests for autographed pictures, he says. For others seeking a personal response, he’ll dictate one.

Tom Selleck funnels his mail through his secretary at the studio, who marks letters she thinks he should see. “I know some [stars] kind of give up on that at a certain point,” Selleck says, “but I find it valuable, the feedback I get. You hear things from people. Put it all together, and you get a big picture of where your work’s at.”

“Star Trek” cast members also know the value of their fans--since viewer support has been key through the 30-year history of the science-fiction franchise--and they usually do spend time responding personally, say studio executives. “A lot of the actors like to answer their own mail,” says Paramount vice president John Wentworth. “I know that Brent Spiner [Data on “The Next Generation”] used to do that all the time, and most of them still do, believe it or not.”

“Family members often manage it for them,” says Paramount’s Trisha Drissi. “Like [“Voyager” star] Tim Russ’ mom. They’ll order tons of photos and send them out. They’ll turn it into fan clubs.”

Jennifer Aniston of “Friends” says: “I have a friend who does it. The office sorts it, then we get it sent to us. We answer it. I read them.”

“What I do is pick 10 letters a month that are special, outstanding, and I personally write them back,” says Joey Lawrence, who was a teen idol on “Blossom” before landing his own “Brotherly Love” sitcom on NBC. Tony Danza’s fan-mail service sends him “a representative cross-section of letters that I answer,” says ABC’s “Hudson Street” star.

Even French ocean explorer Jacques-Yves Cousteau needs a service--actually two, one in Paris and one in the United States--to gather and answer the letters he gets from his TV documentaries. “I see them quickly, and I sign them. Wherever I am in the world, I get a package to sign.”

But even that isn’t always so simple, says ESPN’s Sterling Sharpe. “They want you to sign in a specific place, or with a certain color pen,” explains the ex-Green Bay Packer, who realizes letter writers may be seeking sports autographs like his for their resale value.

“I don’t feel good about just sending them an autographed picture,” says “Party of Five” star Fox, “but most people are asking for that, and it makes them happy. I try to do other things [public appearances] where I get to communicate with people a little bit more.”

Some letter writers do want more than an autographed photo. They’re looking for specific kinds of feedback from their faves. Gabrielle Carteris of “90210” fame found that her letters got more personal when she did her syndicated “Face the Hate” town-meeting specials that led to her talk show. “People were really responsive to that whole white-supremacy thing” and other topics, she says. “I’ve gone to speak in churches and schools, and people talk about how it affected their lives.”

MTV’s Tabitha Soren says that some letter writers “say they know me because I’m from a military family [which moved often]. People start coming out of the woodwork all over the place.” Soren says she also gets things sent to her--including cash, which she promptly sends back. “I don’t know if there’s some wardrobe problem [they want to help solve] or what.” But the news anchor appreciates one thing fans send her: reading lists. “That’s how I subscribed to the American Spectator. Somebody recommended I start reading that. Sometimes there’s actual information I find useful.”

Other fans ask that specific items be sent to them by celebrities. ESPN’s Chris Berman gets letters asking for autographed items to auction at school and charity events. “I have posters that we made a few years ago--that was the impetus to do those. I send every one of them a signed poster, and you know what? From a majority of those, I get a thank-you note: ‘Hey, it raised 50 bucks.’ ”

Job seekers also write, says filmmaker Ken Burns of PBS’ “The Civil War” and “Baseball.” “I get lots of stuff asking for jobs, saying, ‘I’m a 45-year-old ad executive, and I’m well off, and I want to just quit and work for you for nothing.’ ” Many letters share anecdotes about family histories in the Civil War or baseball.

Burns also got a surprising avalanche of hate mail after “Baseball” emphasized past mistreatment of African Americans by the major leagues. “Real racist stuff . . . stuff I can’t say. Horrible stuff. Which meant we really hit the mark.” But he usually doesn’t answer those, “because they never have a return address. If they do, I will write back to them and very calmly and dispassionately try to address what I think is a mistaken view of America.”

But most celebrities won’t respond to negative letters, because any personal communication at all can encourage further angry behavior. While most hate mail is probably just harmless venting by viewers irritated for one reason or another, some of it can be threatening--or, perhaps more disconcerting, a bit friendly, especially to female stars.

“I will tell you a very sad thing about fan mail,” says “Entertainment Tonight” anchor Mary Hart. Because of stalkings like the persistent David Letterman fan and especially the fan who killed “My Sister Sam” star Rebecca Schaeffer in 1989, Hart explains, “everybody says don’t respond to fan mail.

“Unless I know the person is a friend of a friend, that there’s some personal connection, I don’t send autographs anymore,” though the “ET” staff will send a stock response. “You can’t respond like you once could as freely because of those weirdos out there,” who can view a mere autograph as proof of what they perceive as a more intimate relationship with the star. “We’ve had some [weird] people show up” at the studio.

“We all worry about it,” says “90210’s” Priestley. “It’s safer to have a service. Once you start writing letters yourself--you never know.”

“America’s Most Wanted” host John Walsh says that he faces threats all the time because of the nature of his Fox series spotlighting wanted criminals. “We have bomb screenings, because I’ve done the Unabomber so many times the FBI is worried he’d choose me as a target,” Walsh says. “I’ve gotten 30 or 40 [threats over the years]. There are some very deranged people.”

By the same token, there are some very needy causes to whom stars respond--sick children who want a phone call, troubled people, charities trying to raise funds. “We really go out of our way to do for them what we can,” says Paramount’s Wentworth. “I know I’ve had press kits autographed, and we’ve sent them off to [sick] children who’ve asked for them. You don’t know whether they’re telling the truth or not.” But they try to help with requests that seem genuine, usually those that come through well-known foundations like Make a Wish and Starlight.

But a more direct link between stars and those who seek their attention is evolving today, thanks to that screen in so many American homes: the computer. Electronic mail lets both sides reach out and touch via modems plugged into “hub” sites set up by various networks or series on services such as America Online. A common question answered once in online bulletin boards or open chat sessions may satisfy thousands of separate fans. E-mail is also immediate, easy for stars to do and cheap. No envelopes to address. No glossy photos to buy. (Fans can often download free images from online services.) And no postage. That’s appealing for stars who usually have to pick up the tab, since few studios take care of fan mail anymore. (The celebrities who respond to each letter say they consider it an investment in developing a loyal following.)

“If it’s e-mail, most of the time I just answer it,” says Soren--MTV has a busy AOL hub--”because that’s very easy to just sit there and quickly type something up.”

CBS late-night host Tom Snyder answers the e-mail questions he finds most interesting, but he still responds to hard-copy letters, too. “People who take the time and trouble to write--whether it’s on paper or online--that’s significant. It means something, and I try to treat it that way.”

“The X-Files” creator Chris Carter also wants to hear what people have to say. He spends time on the Internet every week, “sometimes every day if I have the time. I use it just to sort of plug in to feel the pulse of my audience. I think most producers used to wait for the fan mail to roll in. You don’t need to do that anymore. There’s instant communication with your audience.”

But probably not extended communication. Although viewers often hold out hope that fan mail will lead to their meeting a favorite star or even developing some sort of real-life relationship, that scenario isn’t very likely.

“I’ve tried very hard to keep a certain amount of my life private,” says Selleck, whose mail scaled back after his “Magnum, P.I.” days ended. Though he has met the officers of his fan club, he says, he never considered maintaining a continued correspondence even with the most devoted letter-writers, because “I usually consider that business, and I don’t like to cross the line.”

That doesn’t mean stars don’t appreciate the feelings that fan letters represent. They’ve often been there themselves.

Jane Seymour remembers being 14 years old and waiting to meet ballerina Margot Fonteyn after a performance “for an hour and a half, and I missed the last train home, and I was in big trouble.

“But she actually asked me to come inside, and she talked to me. Because of her, I always took my fans very seriously. I’ve never gotten over the fact that she took that time out.”