You Can’t Pooh-Pooh His Honesty

I just received my January, 1996, copy of Los Angeles Clippers Insider, which is my third-favorite publication, behind the Wall Street Journal and Minnesota Timberwolf Monthly. This issue devotes a great deal of space to Jerome “Pooh” Richardson, the fine Clipper point guard. There’s Pooh here, Pooh there, Pooh all over the paper.

I enjoy reading Clippers Insider because, as you know, the Clippers are my favorite athletic team in the whole, wide world. I love the Clippers from the top of my heart. When I look in the NBA standings on a given day and see the Clippers with as many wins as the Phoenix Suns or Boston Celtics, my eyes get moist and I feel like dancing.

Somehow, however, I suspect that my February, 1996, copy of Clippers Insider is not going to include any quotations that Brian Williams, the fine Clipper center, made after Saturday’s game at Anaheim. Too bad too because they were juicy quotes.

After a 24-point defeat by the Utah Jazz, during which Bill Fitch, the fine Clipper coach, accused his players of somnambulism, young Mr. Williams observed: “I particularly don’t like playing here. . . . We get more vocal fans out of 5,000 at the Sports Arena than we do out of 15,000 or 12,000 here. I don’t see what the big bonus about playing in Anaheim is. I’ll take the mausoleum any day.”

Hey, now!

I have several reactions to this:

First, Brian Williams has guts. Way to be, Bri. Previous Clipper centers have had guts, mainly John (Hot Plate) Williams and Stanley Roberts, whose bodies make Brian Williams’ look like Audrey Hepburn’s. But in this case, what I mean is that Williams is a man who says what’s on his mind, making him my nominee for the 1996 NBA all-interview team.

(There really is one.)

Second, Brian’s outspoken commentary marks the first time, to my knowledge, that any athlete has sassed, dissed, hissed or dismissed the arena in Anaheim, which is the only big-time, pro-sports facility opened in the Los Angeles area since the Lyndon Johnson Administration. Until now, I have heard nothing but praise for the Pond, a state-of-the-art facility where the Mighty Ducks play hockey on frozen mineral water.

(OK, I made that up.)

Third, this is the first time in the history of man that anyone, anywhere, any time, has expressed such loving sentiments toward our poor old Sports Arena, which is the oldest structure in use in the NBA, now that Boston Garden has been condemned and its rodents and insects left homeless.

Good old Brian. I mean, aside from being an excellent acquisition by the Clippers--their first?--and one of the 99 NBA players named Williams, he happens to be an uncommonly dynamic fellow with a penchant for adventure. When he went to Spain once for the running of the bulls at Pamplona, I’m sure he returned home to a bunch of dopes who asked him, “Did you run into Scottie Pippen?”

Brian Williams can play. He is the big reason why I--and you, if you have any guts yourself--must salute the Clippers today for being astute enough to trade their top draft pick for three individuals, who turned out to be the redoubtable Rodney Rogers, the dexterous Brent Barry and the extemporaneous Williams, who sure is a breath of fresh air after the phlegmatic Danny Manning.

(Got a thesaurus for Christmas.)

Clipper officials winced, I bet, when Williams’ words reached their ears. After all, attendance at Anaheim has been good, if not loud. And good attendance is a phenomenon foreign to the Clippers for home games, because, well, doggone it, that 749-1,301 won-lost record was a little off-putting to some people, going into this season. Damn public is so picky.

The greatest mystery in Southern California sport, in the 1990s, certainly, has been, “Why don’t the Clippers move to Anaheim?” This question has been posed coast to coast, by people who can’t understand why the Clippers would prefer their old Figueroa fixer-upper. My corner Starbuck’s has better attendance than the Sports Arena’s.

I wonder:

Will Williams’ words change Anaheim attitudes toward the Clippers? Could the Clipper popularity--Oxymoron alert! Oxymoron alert!--suffer there as a result of Brian’s saying he would rather play before 5,000 Sports Arenans than 15,000 Anaheimians? Will we read an exclusive in next month’s Clippers Insider that a UFO with Elvis on board has discovered Pooh on other planets? Inquiring minds want to know.

Meantime, if you haven’t been to the Sports Arena lately, well, come on down. Even you Orange County folk. Come join the noisy 5,000. Good seats still available.