Ashley Hoping for a New Awakening

Billy Ashley’s mind chews away at the darkness as he desperately tries to fall asleep. He rolls over and tries sleeping on his stomach, then his side, crosses his legs and uncrosses them.

Afraid to look at his alarm clock, he squints toward the light and grimaces. He finally surrenders, gets up, flicks on the light and picks up the baseball bat propped against his bed.

He walks toward the mirror, uncoils his 6-foot-7 body and begins searching for flaws in his batting stance.

“I had a lot of nights like that, too many to remember,” Ashley said. “That’s why I just gave up and started sleeping with my bat next to my bed. I was always up in front of the mirror, anyway, so I didn’t want to have to go around looking for my bat in the middle of the night.

“It’s weird, when I have a good game, I just go home and fall right asleep.

“When I have a bad game, I’m always up, thinking about it, driving myself crazy.

“That happened an awful lot.”

Perhaps the buildup for Ashley last season simply was too great for anyone to bear, let alone a player in his first major league season.

The young Dodger outfielder was supposed to be either the next Jose Canseco or Dave Kingman, depending on who was talking. Players bragged of personally witnessing 550-foot homers in the minor leagues. Pitchers blushed at recalling the ones hit off of them.

The way folks talked, Ashley should be hitting 35 or 40 homers. He should be driving in about 100 runs, maybe 110. He should be hitting about .280.

Instead, Ashley found himself batting .237 with eight homers and 27 runs batted in. Most alarming was his strikeout total. He may have batted .402 when he made contact, but he struck out 88 times in only 215 at-bats.

“I know the expectations of Billy Ashley were high,” he said. “I had high expectations too. But it’s one thing to expect them and another thing to live up to them.”

Ashley was benched after the All-Star break, leaving him with a feeling of helplessness and sorrow.

“I was in a state of shock,” Ashley said. “I couldn’t believe what was going on. I thought I should have been able to determine my own fate by playing the whole season, but it didn’t happen.

“Maybe I should have said something. Maybe I should have at least asked what was going on. But I just sat there keeping my mouth shut and was hoping my bat would do the talking.”

Ashley, who opened the season as the starting left fielder, had only 33 at-bats after the break and was forgotten. The Dodgers even considered leaving him off the playoff roster.

Then, just when Ashley believed he was immune to surprises, the Dodgers pulled another.

Instead of trading him away to an American League team, they offered him one more chance.

The scenario now is simple. Ashley must make the team as the starting left fielder or at least platoon with left-handed hitter Todd Hollandsworth. The tentative plan is that they will platoon in left field until someone clearly emerges. If Ashley is left on the bench, he probably will be traded.

“I just don’t want my son wasting away again,” said Kathleeen Ciuk, Ashley’s mother. “If they’re not going to use him, I really hope they trade him to some team that will.

“I was just very angry what happened last season. I hated it. After a while, I didn’t even want to watch. The announcers never had anything good to say, nobody did.

“Billy spent a lot of time being mad last year, and this time, I hope he really sticks up for himself. I don’t think he’s just going to let people walk all over him.”

Ashley, 25, plans to eliminate any doubts from the outset.

“I’m going into this with the mind-set that I’m the left fielder in ‘96, and nobody can take it away from me,” Ashley said. “There aren’t any more excuses. I don’t want any.

“I just have to relax. I’m here, and I plan to stay here. I’m not going to battle myself anymore.”

Certainly, Ashley needs to look no further than the Dodger front office and coaching staff for confidence. They want his bat to be in the lineup. When you have a guy who’s capable of hitting 30 to 40 homers, you don’t give up hope.

The Dodgers also renewed their faith in Ashley when he agreed to play in Caracas, Venezuela, for six weeks during the winter. It was hardly a vacation, not when four fans were shot in the stands during one game and a Molotov cocktail narrowly missed hitting Ashley during another. Still, he batted .305 with five homers and 17 RBIs in only 30 games

“You’ve got to remember that he’s a big man, and big men take longer,” said Reggie Smith, Dodger hitting coach. “I think it’s just a maturing process. He learned last year that hitting the ball 600 feet in batting practice doesn’t have an effect on a pitcher during a game.

“The strikeouts don’t worry me, not as long as he hits 30 to 40 homers and drives in about 100 runs. Look at Reggie Jackson. He struck out more times than anybody in history, but he’s in the Hall of Fame.”

It’s Ashley’s power that prevents the Dodgers from giving up on him. He and teammate Mike Piazza put on the best batting practice show in baseball. Opposing players come out of the clubhouse early to watch Ashley hit the ball out of Dodger Stadium.

Yet Ashley says the show is coming to an abrupt halt. No longer will he be trying to hit the ball 600 feet in batting practice. Instead, he will use the time for constructive hitting.

“If you want BP [batting practice] this year, it won’t be the same, not even close,” Ashley said. “It might make the fans mad at me, but they were mad at me last year because they saw what I could do in BP and never saw it in the game.”

He realizes he doesn’t have to swing with all his might to hit home runs. He took easy, natural swings in batting practice Tuesday and hit a ball about 550 feet that cleared the trees beyond the center-field fence.

Ashley says his true talent might have emerged if he had been given the entire season to prove himself, but the Dodgers were in a pennant race and couldn’t afford to be patient. They acquired Roberto Kelly, brought in Brett Butler, and even moved Chad Fonville temporarily to left field. Ashley merely sat, wondering if he’d ever have another opportunity.

“I thought he handled it well,” Dodger first baseman Eric Karros said. “He kept his mouth shut. It would have been very easy for him to sour on the organization, shut it down, and mope. But he handled it with class.

“He definitely has paid the price, but now the organization is giving him another chance. That’s all you can ask.”

It’s now all up to Ashley, and in five weeks, he should know his fate.

“I don’t think of this as a make-or-break season for him,” said Fred Claire, Dodger executive vice president. “But it’s an important season. He knows it, and we know it.

“I think last season was beneficial to Billy, even when he wasn’t playing. I think he sat back and said, ‘Damn, I should be better than this.’ It’s just that he put so much pressure on himself.

“If he hits home runs and drives in runs to his ability, he can play in any league in the world.

“But he has to show that power, and show it now.”