Now that you mention it . ....

Now that you mention it . . .

After volunteering for a hospital’s research study on aging, Joane Ferguson of Long Beach received a letter that said, in part: “Thank you for your interest. . . . A letter will be sent to you reporting the autopsy results. Meantime, please feel free to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.”

Ferguson has a question, if not a concern:

What autopsy?

MICKEY’S EARS MUST BE BURNING: That racy movie studio is stirring up people again--Disney, we mean. Its filmmakers previously have been accused by conservative religious elements of having the title star of “Aladdin” mutter naughty things, of displaying phallic castles on the videotape case of “Under the Sea” and of having a cloud of dust spell out “SEX” in “The Lion King.”

Now comes “Toy Story,” which we thought of as a children’s movie until we saw a copy of a letter from Donald Wildmon of the American Family Assn. in Tupelo, Miss.

The letter says: “In ‘Toy Story,’ rated G by the ultra-liberal MPAA ‘Motion Picture Association of America,’ the main characters, ‘Woody’--note sexual reference--and ‘Buzz’--note drug reference--are owned by a child in a single-parent household in which the father is noticeably absent. ‘Woody’ and ‘Buzz’ have equally disturbing toy friends, including a sex-obsessed talking potato, a sex-obsessed Bo Peep doll . . . “

Speaking of sex-obsessed . . .

HOLLYWOOD’S REAL LUST OBJECT: Disney has, of course, denied all charges of sneaking sexual references into its movies. And after having studied the controversial dust cloud in “Lion King,’ for several hours, we find Disney not guilty on that count. The cloud doesn’t spell out “SEX” at all. Actually, it spells out, “SIX HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS,” which we understand was Disney’s goal for licensed merchandise sales.

WAIT TIL THE AMERICAN FAMILY ASSN. HEARS ABOUT THIS: N.L. Williams of L.A. received a questionnaire from Purdue University that must have been specially tailored to reflect the alternative lifestyles of Angelenos. (see excerpt)

DUELING SIGNS: Walt Kilmanas of Redondo Beach saw a poster advertising a pest removal service next to a poster offering help to tenants faced with eviction.

ITEMS THAT PACK A WALLOP: Bob Finn of Long Beach bought some baguettes that came with instructions indicating that they’re handy for filling the stomach or building an addition to the house (see accompanying).

SEAHAWK MIGRATION: A colleague sent along this advisory: “On the 210 Freeway this morning, I passed a moving van that had an NFL logo on the side and the words, ‘Official Moving Van of the NFL.’ It was following a route that could have taken it from Seattle to Orange County.”

This could be our biggest scoop since we reported Disney’s plans to build an amusement park in Long Beach.

GIMME A MARGARITA AND TWO PIECES OF GOSSIP: In L.A., even bars near the studios have entertainment sheets. Craig Tennis of Studio City’s re$iduals saloon reports in his newsletter that sportscaster Scott St. James met with a director-writer who gave St. James a script to read. Next, St. James was asked to audition over the phone. “Scott was then told to call the producer and read the same material into her answering machine. On Thursday, he was called back and given the lead and started principal photography at 6 a.m. on Friday. They were wrapped in eight days. And Scott can’t tell you what the picture is about.”

Details, details.

miscelLAny

When Cross-Examiner, the Pepperdine Law School’s newspaper, sent out invitations for its one-year anniversary celebration, guests were reminded: “Shoes and socks required.”

After five days, send it to a Superfund site.