Bush performance:Texas Gov. George W. Bush, delivering...

Bush performance:

Texas Gov. George W. Bush, delivering the graduation speech at Pepperdine University, quipped to the crowd that he probably was invited because he’s related to someone famous.

“Mother sends her best,” he added.

The governor obviously has become a more polished orator since he appeared on an L.A. radio show in 1988 to defend his father, the Republican presidential candidate. The elder Bush had been taking some kidding that year for declaring in a campaign speech that Pearl Harbor Day was Sept. 7. Young Bush contributed his own slip, declaring on the radio show that the media had spent far too long focusing “on whether Pearl Harbor was Sept. 9 or Dec. 9.”

TALK ABOUT PAYING ONE’S DUES! Bennett Mintz of Chatsworth sent along a startling blurb from his fishing club’s newsletter. Mintz points out that, fortunately, “the lifetime membership plague--like the bubonic variety--is rare.” (see excerpt)

LOSING MAY BE CONTAGIOUS, THOUGH: One of our colleagues noticed that when he attended a home game of the hapless L.A. Clippers, the Sports Arena was covered with banners promoting B.U.M. Equipment. B.U.M., you may have read, recently filed for bankruptcy.

CLIPPERS’ MEMORABILIA WERE UNTOUCHED: Carl Ehrlich sent us a copy of a weekly, the Acorn, which reported in its Crime Watch column a sports-oriented sting operation in Agoura. A man was “arrested for stealing a hockey puck signed by former L.A. Kings star Wayne Gretzky” and later “admitted to stealing a boxing glove signed by George Foreman.” The newspaper added: “Movie rights to the story of this sting are apparently still available.”

OUT OF THIS GALAXY: We mentioned that Pasadena Mayor Bill Paparian was supposed to kick the opening game ball at the L.A. Galaxy’s Rose Bowl match but was held up briefly from entering the Pasadena field. The problem was that when Paparian declared that he was the mayor, a security guard said, “You don’t look anything like Dick Riordan.”

Anyway, colleague Richard Winton informs us that Paparian did make the ceremonial kick but when he tried to leave the field with the ball, a referee grabbed it from him. The Galaxy atoned later, presenting Paparian with a ball signed by the team. We hope the L.A.-Pasadena rift has been healed.

FOR MEN ONLY: “Prostrate Green is a juniper bush that grows horizontally,” wrote George McDermott of Sylmar. “And I’ve heard men refer to their prostate gland.” But until he spotted a sign at a local nursery, he had never seen a hybrid of the two. (see photo)

THEN AGAIN, WE’RE ALL WET, TOO: After we wrote that the “Hollywood Celebrity Dog and Dog-Lovers Cruise” cost $15,000, a spokeswoman for Around the World Travel of Tarzana barked: “We’d be in the poor house, not to mention the dog house, if the seven-day cruise was $15,000. It’s $1,484 to $1,584.”

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No joke--we received word from the Downtown Marketing Council of L.A. that May 6-10 is Jurors’ Appreciation Week. No word on whether any famous former defendants will appear at the celebration.