Relief Pitcher

Bottom of the ninth. You’re clinging to a one-run lead and Tommy Lasorda is crossing the third base line, heading toward the mound.

“You did good work today, kid, but you look tired. I’m bringing in some relief.”

He takes the ball from you, pats you on the back, sends you to the showers . . . and tells you to take a cookie from the official jar.

An idle fantasy? Not exactly. With the “Official Cookies” ceramic baseball cookie jar, you can be just like a big leaguer. (We’re still allowed to dream; after all, the season’s just started.) If you like, you can even go on strike when the cookies run out. Available at Utensils in Los Angeles’ Larchmont Village (cookies not included).

Food Stamps

Cookbook labels demonstrate pride in your culinary library. And they’re available in several varieties to fit your personality. The labels remind habitual borrowers that the book is just on loan and tell would-be thieves to keep their mitts off. Available at most Barnes & Noble locations.