Tender, Loving Care : Students Nurture a Flower Garden at Memorial Service for Their Mothers

Shaded by the branches of an elm tree, four Loma Vista Elementary School children fought back tears Friday as they read their handwritten letters.

“Hi Mom. I really miss you,” 8-year-old James Goto said to his mother, Melinda, who died in February after a long bout of cancer. “I wish you could have lived as long as a bonsai tree.”

Placing his laminated note in the ground, next to a lily he had just planted in his mother’s honor, James finished his thought. “I will pray for you every day.”

James is one of four students at the school of 700 whose mothers have died since January. Edward Manougian, 9, lost his mother, Jinnek, to cancer in February, and Deborah Bardsley, mother of Audra, 10, and Devon, 7, died suddenly in January after suffering complications from the flu.

The proximity of the unrelated tragedies prompted school Principal Phil Dunmeyer to have a ceremony Friday, just before Mother’s Day, at a small patch of open space between two classroom buildings at the school.

The area, planted with flowers and an elm tree and now three fortnight lily plants, will be a memorial garden, Dunmeyer said.

The lilies “will be here as a constant reminder to all of us,” Dunmeyer told about 50 students gathered earlier to watch the ceremony, “just how special our mothers are, and how truly special these three moms have been to so many people.”

After the other children returned to class, the four children and their fathers, in a more private ceremony, planted the lilies along with the handwritten letters.

This Mother’s Day will be a somber one for the Bardsley children, whose paternal grandmother died of cancer last month, said their father, Alan Bardsley.

But he added that tributes such as the one Friday have tremendous power to heal.

“It’s a wonderful thing, this living tribute to their mother,” Bardsley said. “This helps them get out normal feelings and face them in a very healthy way.”

In her note, Audra Bardsley thanked her mother for “teaching me to live, love and sometimes lose.”

“She was really important to me,” Audra said before covering the letter with soil and watering the newly planted lily.

Don Goto, James’ father, described the event as “something I’ll remember forever.”

“This is a great honor,” he added. “I’ve never heard of a school doing anything like this for the kids. This really means a lot to us.”

James Goto said he particularly appreciated the support of his school and classmates.

“I feel good that we’re doing this at school,” he said. “It shows that the school cares that my mom died. And I can come here and look at [the garden] and remember her.”

Onig Manougian, Edward’s father, said he was equally touched by the event.

“The only things we have left of my wife, his mom, are the memories,” Manougian said. “Those will stay with us, and like these flowers, will be well taken care of.”

One of the day’s most touching moments, however, was missed by many.

While Edward Manougian was planting a lily, one of his classmates commented on his gardening skills, saying, “You look like you know what you’re doing.”

Edward quietly replied, “I learned it from watching my mom.”