Fatherhood and Motherhood in the ‘90s
Your Father’s Day article, “No Longer Missing in Action,” moved me to tears. My own father was very much like Alan Clark’s--a grown-up Depression child whose major focus, quite understandably, was on providing financial security for his family. Sheryl Stolberg exquisitely captures the awareness and resolve of a segment of my generation of parents in its representative Clark: He realized that the most satisfying way to translate his childhood hunger for more emotional contact with his father was to feed his children the kind of diet he had wished for. His “epiphany” changed him from a father to a Dad.
Kudos for your recent emphasis on features that examine the quality of children’s and families’ lives (“Liberty vs. Morality,” occasional series). To, I suspect, a large part of your readership, this emphasis delivers a clear message beyond the literal content: This country had better address the very serious problems of increasing poverty and child abuse, and fatherless or even parentless children, with the same energy we direct toward upheaval in Russia and China.
As Clark makes so clear, the solution to such problems as drugs and violence is probably to be found one epiphany at a time.
RENEE B. LONNER
(Licensed Clinical Social Worker)
Van Nuys
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* Re “Sioux Falls May Represent the Future of Motherhood,” June 17: I don’t understand the rhetoric about teaching family values. Is this a formal class, after everyone gets home from work and day care?
Yes, the issues woman face concerning family income, self-actualization and child care are real. When I stayed home with my two children I took them on field trips. I arranged for playmates with other mothers on an almost daily basis. I guess I taught family values every time I was there to answer my children’s questions or comfort them when they skinned their knees or got their feelings hurt.
I understand why women in South Dakota say they will work at a job they love and put their kids in day care. Staying home to raise children is not glamorous, often lonely and the toughest job I ever had. Still, there was no substitute for my presence. Now that this option is going the way of the outdated ‘50s family and the dinosaurs, I’m glad I got under the wire before it became completely out of vogue.
WENDY CAROTHERS
North Hills