Conquered by CityWalk, but Not by Aliens

The power outage Tuesday that affected much of the western United States left one associate of mine wondering whether a bomb-building militia was to blame. That was just the sort of thing, this conspiracy buff said, that authorities, fearful of mass hysteria, would hide behind an official lie.

Hmmm. Waiting at a traffic signal flashing red, I had another thought: Maybe invaders from outer space were to blame--or at least a Hollywood publicist. This was the same Tuesday, after all, that “Independence Day” would be opening at a multiplex near all of us.

I’d made up my mind to see this flick--and the sooner, the better. Today being the United States of America’s 220th birthday, I figured seeing this sci-fi fantasy about how America saves the world would be sort of patriotic in a pointless way. (On the other hand, the first time I saw its trailer, jokers in the audience cheered when the aliens zapped the White House.)

So shortly after sunset, I found myself waiting in my car in a procession willing to pay $6 to park at Universal Studios’ CityWalk, where I would be able to ponder another, much longer line for the privilege of buying an $8 ticket to be among the first few million Americans to watch the biggest blockbuster since, well, “Twister.”

Truth is, I thought about turning around, especially since the CityWalk people were kind enough to warn motorists that every show had been sold out until past midnight. But I’d agreed to meet Jesus there. He’s a friend from work, not the Son of God.

So there we were at the spectacle that is CityWalk, with King Kong dangling from a building to our left and the Hard Rock Cafe’s giant neon guitar to our right. It was crowded, noisy, raucous. Here, at the 18-screen Cineplex Odeon, a 56-hour marathon of the movie nicknamed “ID4” had begun at 6 p.m. Hundreds of people were in line, hoping for a ticket for the 12:30 a.m. show.

Jesus said he wouldn’t stay up that late. I was iffy. Let’s get dinner first, I said.

This was perhaps my fifth visit to CityWalk. At first I was a skeptic, dubious of its hype, thinking of it more as a tourist trap than an attraction for Angelenos. We passed the outdoor karaoke joint and found ourselves inside KWGB, a burger joint with a radio theme, complete with disc jockey. “WELCOME TO THE HOTEL CALIFORNIA,” Don Henley sang, loudly. Talking required shouting.

That’s KWGB, as in World’s Greatest Burgers, which they aren’t. But they aren’t bad either, and the beer was fancy, so at $23 dinner didn’t seem too out of line. We sauntered along CityWalk, hoping to make the $12 we collectively spent on parking worthwhile. The crowd was international, multicultural. When I spotted a family in the native dress of India, I thought they might be tourists--and then remembered that this being L.A., they might live in my neighborhood.

Heading back to the theaters, we resisted the Wacky Wax cart, where you could get a wax model of your hand for $6. Or $10 holding a flower. Or $15 as a candle. Soon we found ourselves outside an attraction called Cinemania. TV monitors offered a hint of what to expect--a visual journey down the devil’s mine shaft or an “Alien Encounter.”

What the heck. This had been my dumb idea, and since Jesus wasn’t willing to stick around for the big alien encounter, the least I could do was treat him to a little one.

Upon entering, I realized this was basically a version of Disneyland’s Star Tours: The seats move, enhancing the effect of the visuals.

Soon we were off, riding our Kingfisher craft into an encounter with a hostile alien spaceship. Our captain provided commentary for the mission. It was a bumpy ride, much bumpier than Star Tours.

“I’m going to throw up,” Jesus said.

He didn’t. It was over in five minutes. Five bucks for five minutes. For one more dollar, I could have had a wax hand. I thought Cinemania would last longer but was now glad it didn’t. Not everybody shared this opinion.

“That’s it?!?” shouted an indignant passenger. “What a rip-off!”

“Hey, I didn’t make the ride. I just run it,” the young female operator responded wearily.

Jesus bade me farewell and I finally got in line. To my surprise, I could have gotten into a 1 a.m. showing, but it’s a 2 1/2-hour movie and I didn’t feel like getting home at about 4 a.m.

A crowd was leaving an earlier show. I talked to about a dozen people and got a dozen thumbs up--especially for the special effects, like when downtown L.A.’s signature First Interstate tower gets blown to smithereens. (Was the Valley snubbed by the aliens? I forgot to ask.)

A friend I spoke to later summed up “ID4” as, “Stupid story, excellent special effects.” But on this night, viewers thought that a bit unfair. Now that Americans can’t unite against a bogeyman like the Commies, “Independence Day” gives us the fantasy enemy that allows all humankind to pull together in a quest for survival.

“There is a message,” Hepri Gerumaa said, “about how people should overcome the things that divide us.”

And when the good guys prevail, the Fourth of July becomes Independence Day for the whole world.

There was a lot of cheering in the theater. Larry Day of North Hollywood said he felt like standing up and waving Old Glory. “If you can’t get that kind of reaction from this movie,” he said, “then you don’t have it in you.”

Or perhaps it’s just that, having gone to the trouble of being among the first million to see it, you’d be primed and ready to cheer.

But what do I know? I bought two tickets to Cinemania.

Scott Harris’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Readers may write to Harris at the Times Valley Edition, 20000 Prairie St., Chatsworth, CA. 91311. Please include a phone number.

At the 18-screen Cineplex Odeon, a 56-hour marathon of the movie “Independence Day” had begun at 6 p.m.