A Different Lump in His Throat

Brett Butler dreamed of this night while lying in his hospital bed, fearing he might die.

He dreamed of it while recovering at home from his two cancer operations, unable to eat or drink.

He dreamed of it while undergoing painful radiation treatments.

He dreamed of it while putting his body through three weeks of workouts with physical therapist Mackie Shilstone in New Orleans.

He dreamed of it all week, working out with the Dodgers, astonishing his teammates.

Tonight, Brett Butler’s dream will become reality.

For the first time since May 1, when he left the team for what was supposed to be a routine tonsillectomy, only to discover he had cancer of the tonsils, Butler will be in the starting lineup, batting leadoff against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Dodger Stadium.

The Dodgers expect a crowd of about 50,000.

“I think this will be one of the greatest comeback stories in the history of sports,” said Fred Claire, Dodger executive vice president. “People read about guys coming back from shoulder surgeries, knee surgeries, or back surgery. We’re talking about cancer. I don’t know anybody at the time who thought he’d be back during the course of the season.

“When he comes to bat tonight, the emotions in the stadium will be overwhelming.

“No matter what happens [the rest of the season], he achieved something that no one could have ever predicted.

“When he was in the darkest hour, not in the bright lights but when there were no lights, it was his personality and drive and faith that made this possible.”

Butler, who will be activated today, has invited about 15 friends and relatives to the game. He plans to save the ball from his first hit--he’s figuring on getting one--get the lineup card and save a videotape of the game.

Undoubtedly, he said, it will be the most emotional game he has played.

“I didn’t want to get cancer, but I can say I’ve been blessed through it,” Butler said. “I felt this was a situation to give hope to people that miracles do happen and prayers do get answered.

“I went through a pity party, asking, ‘Why is this happening to me?’ But when I was able to gather my thoughts and realize I had a purpose, I understood I was being used to set a positive example.

“Once I realized I was being used to give people hope, my focus went from the cancer. . . . It was like the Lord said, ‘Who are you to question me? I took a 5-foot-6, 89-pound freshman who couldn’t make his high school team to the majors for 16 years. Just let me use you.’

“This now gives me the opportunity to show the testament of my faith. People might say, ‘It’s easy to be a Christian when you have a beautiful wife, four beautiful kids, you’re playing baseball, and you’re rich.’

“But now that they see that I had cancer, and could die, they see that I walked my talk.”