Motorists of a feather . . ....

Motorists of a feather . . . :

A guilt-stricken driver phoned the city of Paramount to confess to an unusual hit-and-run accident. A friend persuaded him to “turn himself in before getting arrested for fleeing the scene,” reported City Talk, Paramount’s municipal newsletter.

And the crime?

“When asked for details, he said that he had hit a pigeon and feathers were everywhere,” City Talk continued. “He felt that he would be caught due to all the feathers stuck to his bumper and hood.”

City officials declined to prosecute.

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TALK ABOUT BEING CAUGHT RED-HANDED: The pigeon-feathers-as-evidence story reminds us of the time a passing motorist threw a pomegranate that struck a tow truck driver on the San Gabriel River Freeway. The tow truck driver not only chased down his assailant, but he hooked up the fruit-thrower’s truck and towed it to a CHP office. Officers said the suspect’s hands were still red. And shaking a bit, too.

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DUELING SIGNS: We haven’t had any entrants in the competition recently so it was nice to hear from L. Paul Cook, who found a laundry that seems to be having an internal argument over its own prices (see photo).

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POLLY WANT TO MAKE A PHONE CALL? Marian Kaplan saw a classified ad in a South Bay publication that caused her to comment: “Will we have AT & T, MCI, Sprint and parrot?” (see excerpt)

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COURTING BOREDOM: We mentioned the other day that Mayor Richard Riordan will begin serving jury duty next month. Now, we’ve learned that a former local official, a fellow familiar with courtrooms, is performing the same ritual: ex-L.A. County Dist. Atty. Ira Reiner. Here’s a surprise: last we’d heard, the former prosecutor hadn’t been selected for any juries.

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SURE, INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE HUNGRY FOR PROFITS, BUT . . . : A letter sent to a Van Nuys insurance executive by a local university’s office of continuing education was addressed to the Chairman of the “Boar.”

The envelope also bore the slogan “Selling Skills.”

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LIST OF THE DAY: Jack Kemp, Bob Dole’s running mate, is a graduate of Occidental College in Eagle Rock. Some other well-known Oxy alumni:

* Former Lt. Gov. Robert Finch, also a Cabinet secretary in the Nixon administration.

* Football coach Jim Mora of the New Orleans Saints.

* Author Ernesto Galarza (“Barrio Boy”).

* Poet Robinson Jeffers.

* Author and former UCLA Librarian Lawrence Clark Powell.

* Olympic diving champion Sammy Lee.

* Beverly Hills Police Det. Sammy Lee, the gold medalist’s son, who made a big splash of his own when he arrested Heidi Fleiss.

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NO CUDDLY NEWS SLOGANS HERE: Remember when KABC (Channel 7) described its news show this way: “It’s not like watching news, it’s like watching family?” Well, here in the 1990s, KCOP (Channel 13) is taking a different tack. Trumpeting its crime coverage, KCOP says on billboards: “L.A. isn’t always a City of Angels.”

As Heidi could tell us.

miscelLAny:

Ever wonder how people can afford all those Mercedes you see driving around? One Mercedes spotted in South Pasadena gave a clue. The license plate said: 1 LESS CD.