Meet Banjo Fred Starner, Cyberfolkie

Fred Starner is a folk singer and therefore an anachronism.

“Yes,” he agrees, “but I’m an active anachronism.”

And perseverant, too. That was how Pete Seeger, America’s preeminent folk minstrel, described Starner three years ago, after Starner passed on his old friend’s phone number. Starner, perhaps the San Fernando Valley’s leading ambassador for the preservation of the folk tradition, was trying to get a little ink and had mentioned that he used to sing with Seeger back in the ‘70s, hoping to save the Hudson River Valley from pollution.

And if it weren’t for perseverance, the man called Banjo Fred wouldn’t be bringing folk music to an untraditional venue today, performing his backhanded political slap “I’ll Still Vote for Clinton” live on the Internet.

He’ll have about 15 minutes on a program called “Late Net,” which despite its name, airs from 5 to 7 p.m. Those are drive-time hours. Maybe host Tim Conway Jr.--yes, that Tim Conway’s son--figures telecommuters will tune in.

This event probably won’t be inscribed in the annals of folk music history--or Internet history, either. But the way it came about might say something about our times, the way this folkie from the old school hooked up with a medium in its infancy.

Starner says he pretty much stumbled upon the studio. He was performing in a contest at a record-store-with-coffeehouse in Santa Monica and couldn’t find a parking space. He walked by a place with its door open and noticed young people sitting at computers as well as a small sound stage of sorts.

Now, Starner often brags about all the places he’s been kicked out of. He occasionally publishes a newsletter promoting folk music. Once, he says, even Seeger got mad at him for singing a satire about Watergate at an American Legion hall. It seems that Seeger had been trying to get into that place for years to spread the environmental gospel and had promised there would be no politics.

Much more recently, Starner says, he was banned from an Orange County coffeehouse because the owner thought he played “desperado music.” In San Pedro, Starner says, he had auditioned for a cafe and impressed the manager. Then the owner, whom he described as a woman in her mid-30s, listened to one song and gave him the hook, saying, “That music is for old people.”

And then there was his brief gig at a coffeehouse in Tarzana. He played a couple of songs, was given a couple of bucks. Then, Starner recalls, the manager told him: “You can’t play here. This is Tarzana, and the people don’t want to be challenged by the music!”

Starner swears he didn’t play antiwar songs, just “Wabash Cannon Ball” and “Empty Pocket Blues.”

Starner may be pleased to learn that Tim Jr. grew up in Tarzana and has lived in the San Fernando Valley nearly all of his 32 years. Previous guests on “Late Net” have included Heidi Fleiss and Tommy Lasorda. Conway didn’t reject Fred Starner.

A colleague much more skilled in this newfangled technology helped me listen to a “Late Net” rerun Monday afternoon. It can be found on the World Wide Web at https://www.ifnet.com/latenet/index.html

My colleague says you need software called RealAudio to listen. The show was reminiscent of live radio, except that listeners can send e-mail. The rerun featured a comic performing a song about women who find O. J. Simpson, Hugh Grant and Robert Downey Jr. irresistible.

Fred Starner tends to be a bit more serious. But “I’ll Still Vote for Clinton,” the lament of an unabashed liberal, has lines Republicans might love:

The answer was blowing in the wind

Years ago, that’s what they said.

Now questions and answers

Are written in a prostitute’s bed!

Family values were pushed by

Dick Morris, the political hack

Who likes sucking toes

While lying on his back!

H. L. Mencken, he was wise

When he sat down and wrote

Sometimes you must hold your nose

In democracy when you vote!

Maybe conflicted times call for conflicted songs. The conflicted songwriter himself says he doesn’t think it’s a particularly good song, but it’s an honest one. It expresses his disgust with Clinton’s signing of the welfare bill and devotion to opinion polls.

“Imagine if Lincoln had listened to polls,” he mutters. “Should we fight the Civil War or not?”

Starner might be pleased today if they just don’t give him the hook.

In his newsletter, he included a copy of a “Bizarro” comic. It depicts a man with a guitar seated in a cafe.

“For my next number, I will use my limited musical ability to express some trite ideas in a pretentious manner,” he says. “Hope you like it.”

Scott Harris’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Readers may write to Harris at the Times Valley Edition, 20000 Prairie St., Chatsworth 91311. Please include a phone number.