Things we said today:The Republicans can’t seem...

Things we said today:

The Republicans can’t seem to snap their streak of mistaken references to the world of entertainment. We’ve mentioned presidential candidate Bob Dole’s belief that the Brooklyn Dodgers and Philadelphia A’s still exist. And then one Republican congressman pronounced comic Jay Leno’s last name as though it rhymed with “meano.”

Pat Reddy of Santa Monica noticed another slip.

Wayne Berman, an aide to vice presidential candidate Jack Kemp, said as the Dole-Kemp team left California, “We are coming back. This is not a goodbye tour. This is not like when the Rolling Stones broke up.”

Actually, Reddy points out, it was the Beatles who broke up.

Sometimes, it’s as though the anthem of the Dole campaign should be “Yesterday.”

If not “Help!”

HARD DAY’S NIGHT: Jeff Bliss of Newbury Park spotted a soap-opera plot consisting of movie titles on the Malibu Cinema marquee:

“First Wives Club”

“Last Man Standing”

“Big Night”

SHAKE, RATTLE AND ROLL: Tom Havell of Palm Springs took one look at a local ad and wondered:

“Is the paste necessary to keep the live lobster on the plate?”

I’M A LOSER: Five people suspected of stealing a car and leading authorities on a two-freeway chase threw several items out of the windows before they were nabbed, including a baby stroller.

Guess they figured they didn’t look the part of parents. Reminds us of the six teenagers who were pulled over in a stolen car in Long Beach.

Police had noticed the license-plate frame on the car: “Happiness Is Being a Grandparent!”

CAN’T BUY ME LOVE: How to describe one’s self or one’s ideal mate? Well, in L.A., you pick out a comparable celebrity (in your mind at least).

Here are some self-testimonials from L.A. Weekly’s personal ads:

* “Sting looks with Jim Carrey sense of humor . . . “

* “Brad Pitt’s body, Trump’s mind . . . “

* “Halle Berry look-alike . . . “

* “Queen-sized Dolly Parton/Anna Nicole Smith-type . . . “

* “One-half Dennis Miller, one-half Jim Morrison . . . “

* “Englishman, Londoner, artist like Kienholz (but not dead) . . . “

* “Bianca Jagger look-alike, in search of nonconformist with Richard Gere’s soul . . . Ralph Nader’s conscience all wrapped in GQ to help me on my spiritual journey . . . Denzel Washington face, Jean Claude Van Damme body a plus.”

And, finally:

* “JFK Jr./Alec Baldwin type. Seeking sharp easy-going [woman with] Mother Teresa’s heart, Loni Anderson’s body . . . “

Wonder how many of the guys, if they were being truthful in the ads, would have to begin: “The body of Ralph Nader . . . “

miscelLAny:

The Firesign Theater comedy group’s newsletter, edited by member Phil Proctor, mentions that real-life collector James Comisar owns over 5,000 items from the sets of defunct TV series, including Johnny Carson’s desk and Karnak turban.

But Comisar has his limits. Items he has turned down include “some bedpans of the rich and famous” collected by a nurse and the plaque scraped off Elvis Presley’s teeth by a Las Vegas dentist.