BEHIND THE BALL

He had just finished playing 18 holes in the rain, so Esteban Toledo was soaked.

His sweater stuck to his back, his shoes were caked with grass and mud and his hair was matted down. He looked as though he had just walked through a car wash.

But Toledo was standing there and smiling, probably because he knew he had been a lot wetter before.

When he was 8, he used to hide in the trees on the golf course in Mexicali. He would climb down, fish golf balls out of a pond with his toes, then clean the balls and sell them back to the golfers at the country club.

There also were many times he waded across a creek to the same Mexicali golf course, found the seven-iron he had hidden under a bush and sneaked onto the practice range to play until somebody chased the kid away.

Maybe that’s what 32-year-old Esteban Toledo was thinking about as he stood in the rain at La Purisima Golf Course, where he has come in search of his dream for the 11th time.

It all depends how you look at it. You know, that isn’t rain, it’s just a little water.

And that wasn’t a creek so long ago, but something else. “It was my swimming pool,” Toledo said.

And this isn’t only the PGA Tour Qualifying tournament, it’s one more challenge, one more test of the philosophy Toledo has practiced since he started swinging a discarded golf club on a course where he wasn’t welcome.

“Do not give up,” he said. “If you don’t fight back, you’re cooked. When I play, I might be eight or nine over par, but I don’t give up. Try to make it different. This is something I have learned.”

Toledo, from Costa Mesa, is one of 188 players who persevered to get to the PGA Qualifying tournament final, which is being played at Sandpiper Golf Course in Goleta and at La Purisima.

Each of those players had to play well enough in regional, then sectional tournaments to qualify for the finals.

Known as Q School, it is a very difficult place from which to graduate. Players with the low 90 scores and ties after 72 holes will advance to the final 36 holes Sunday and Monday at La Purisima.

Of that group, only the 40 lowest finishers and ties earn PGA Tour memberships. The next 70 players will earn fully exempt Nike Tour memberships, but that’s not the goal, it’s more of a consolation prize.

“No question it’s nice to know at least you have someplace to play like the Nike Tour and you don’t have to go traipsing all over the world,” said Clark Dennis, 30, who is attending Q School for the fifth time.

“But we all want to get our [PGA] Tour cards. You can’t help but think about it. That makes the pressure pretty intense.”

There are 20 players who have won PGA Tour events in the field, which includes such former PGA Tour players as Dennis, Mike Standly, Tommy Armour III, Bob Estes, Bob Gilder, Jerry Haas, Brian Kamm, Jay Delsing, Tom Byrum, Larry Rinker, Jim McGovern, Keith Clearwater, Robin Freeman, Bobby Wadkins, Sam Randolph, Allen Doyle, Brian Henninger, Brian Claar, Donnie Hammond, Tim Simpson, Mike Sullivan, Mike Springer and Ed Humenik.

“You know it’s tough because there are 188 guys out here and every one of them wants the same thing you do,” Standly said. “So that’s what you think about.”

Add it up and you have a six-day, 108-hole marathon, a golf tournament that’s like being sentenced to a microwave. It’s the type of pressure on every shot that could melt the head off a sand wedge and turn golf balls into popcorn.

Toledo knows the feeling. Beginning in 1986, he has been to Q School every year.

In 1992 at The Woodlands outside Houston, Toledo missed getting his card by one shot. But in 1993 at La Quinta, Toledo finished tied for 26th and made the PGA Tour for 1994.

He played 28 events and his best finish was a tie for 16th at the Deposit Guaranty, where he won $10,850. Toledo finished the year with three top-25 finishes and $66,049 in prize money. That put him No. 176 on the money list and sent him back to qualifying school. At that time, the top 125 players on the money list retained their cards.

At Haines City, Fla., he missed making the Q School finals by one shot.

Then in the 1995 Q School, Toledo had a rotator cuff injury and missed the second stage of qualifying by one shot. He played in some Golden State Tour events this year, as well as on the Mexican Tour. In four 1996 Nike Tour events, he missed three cuts and made $2,455.

And so Toledo is back again. He is playing golf in the rain, hoping the sun might come out, looking for a rainbow. He is still searching. After 54 holes, he is two under par at 214 and tied for 17th place, five shots behind leader Paul Claxton.

Toledo said he is only beginning to fight.

“It’s not like a regular tournament out here, it’s something very special,” he said. “It’s a very frightening week in your life. If you don’t make it, you’re done. It’s over. You got to wait until next year.

“But I’m not nervous. I have been here so many times. I don’t tee it up on the first hole and shake like a little chicken. I can handle it.”

Toledo was born in Mexicali, a border town of 340,000 near El Centro. He said his family was poor and they lived on a farm. Toledo said he found a seven-iron one day and began hitting rocks. Then he started visiting the Mexicali golf course--without being invited--and eventually was able to piece together a set of discarded clubs.

After a while, he began working at the driving range, but by then he had picked up another part-time job as a boxer. Toledo fought as a lightweight for four years, until appendicitis ended his ring career.

Toledo said he learned a valuable lesson from boxing.

“You must be tough,” he said. “Don’t count me out. This is what I learned. You get knocked down, and you get back up.”

In 1984, Toledo was sponsored for U.S. citizenship by John Minnis, a businessman from Milpitas who had become acquainted with Toledo’s family. Minnis isn’t a golfer, but he knew enough to help Toledo become grounded.

“He didn’t know who Jack Nicklaus was,” Minnis said.

Toledo made his PGA Tour debut in the 1986 Houston Open. He shot 79-81 and missed the cut. He also missed the cut in his only other tour event that year. In the 32 tour events Toledo has played in his career, he has missed the cut 20 times.

But he isn’t giving up. After all, he is one of 188 left in the field of 1,100 that began the first stage, he has made it to the final round of qualifying, he has put down his $3,000 entry fee, he knows how to pay his estimated expenses of $1,000 this week and he isn’t intimidated by the odds.

“Out here, you’re not playing for the money,” Toledo said. “I understand all the big names, they earned what they have. They got there somehow.

“But just because you’re a PGA Tour player, don’t tell me you’re better than I am. You miss the cut, no big deal, you say you’ll get ‘em next week. Here, you miss and you’re done.

“I’ve played with [Ben] Crenshaw and [Fred] Couples and Nick Price. I’m not intimidated by anything. I’ll kick your tail.

“I remember when I got my tour card in 1994, I was in heaven. You always dream to be on the PGA Tour, to play the best in the world. But here in qualifying school, it is so very, very different.

“For six days, you play 18 holes a day and you enjoy it. . . . Actually, I don’t think enjoyment comes into it at all. No, you don’t enjoy it until it’s over.”