If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Cover Skins Game

“The Skins Game is the granddaddy of golf trash sports,” Ron Sirak of the Associated Press wrote after last weekend’s romp at La Quinta. “It put the silly in Silly Season.”

Sirak was not amused when promoters painted huge yardage lines on some fairways to give Tiger Woods and John Daly something to shoot at.

“What next?” he asked. “Put the cup inside a giant clown’s mouth painted on the green? How about a swing-speed clock in the lower right-hand corner of the TV screen? Or a shot clock. Imagine Nick Faldo racing the 40-second clock.

“Maybe a person dressed up as a fuzzy, bright blue golf ball should cavort with the gallery like the San Diego chicken. Or instead of miking players, they could attach wires to their pulse rate and measure tension. They could call it the Choke-O-Meter.”

Trivia time: When was the last time neither USC nor UCLA played in a bowl game?

See ya, Matt: San Francisco Giant outfielder Barry Bonds isn’t overly concerned about the trade that sent oft-injured Matt Williams to the Cleveland Indians.

“I don’t want to generate any false advertising that he always protected me,” Bonds said. “He was out two years [of the last four] with injuries.”

Facial rules: A 16-year-old Sikh boxer has quit the sport rather than submit to a Canadian rule that bans bearded competitors. The rule dictates a fighter must be clean shaven, other than a mustache.

“I love boxing,” Sukhvir Dhaliwal said. “But it’s a religious thing. It’s a personal decision. You’re not supposed to cut your hair because it’s a God-given thing.”

Looking back: On this day in 1973, Jerry West of the Lakers set an NBA record with 10 steals in a 115-111 victory over the Seattle SuperSonics.

Trivia answer: After the 1980 season, when both schools were on probation.

And finally: Darrell Walker, coach of the Toronto Raptors, was asked if Dennis Rodman’s penchant for wearing women’s clothing would be a problem if the Raptors had him.

“I don’t care if a guy wears Victoria’s Secret instead of a jock strap, as long as he gets 18 rebounds,” Walker said.