Probably wasn’t even housebroken:Some readers couldn’t help...
Probably wasn’t even housebroken:
Some readers couldn’t help but reflect on the sad spectacle of the “blown-up male sex doll” that was found in the L.A. River the other day. The irony of it all, Chuck Crawford commented, was that “the doll was no doubt labeled, ‘Not to be used as a flotation device.’ ”
MEMBER OF THE IN-CROWD: Bob White, the 6-foot-8 former Norwalk city councilman who died the other day, was an expert wisecracker. One of our favorite White quips was his explanation why the city should not hire an outside public relations firm. “I think we should be doing things in-house,” he said, “instead of outhouse.”
DO THEY HAVE A BASKETBALL TEAM? Dan Fink of L.A. noticed a sign that might be mistaken at first glance as the site of a sister school of Cal State L.A. and Cal State Long Beach (see photo). Wonder what kind of mascot they would have?
THE BARTENDER MUST BE ABLE TO MIX A MEAN ATOM COLLINS: Sidney Williams of La Canada spotted an ad that caused him to ask, “Would a degree in physics help?” (see excerpt).
AND THE JAYWALKING TICKET HAS BEEN WAIVED: Remember that sea lion pup picked up by police several days ago while she was ambling down a street in Venice? The underweight pup was put in a squad car and eventually transported to the Marine Mammal Care Center in San Pedro. She was very sick at the time and her chances of survival seemed questionable. But Care Center spokesman Hugh Ryono says the pup has “sure surprised us. She’s doing well and has gained 10 pounds. She still has a bit of pneumonia but is otherwise healthy and recovering.”
CELEBRITY MUNICIPAL NAMES: Some years ago, a popular bumper sticker in Southern California asked, “Where the hell is Norco?” Now the Riverside County city--you knew that’s where the heck it is, right?--is about to achieve some more renown.
A Corona company will soon begin marketing a painkiller called Norco. The story goes that a company rep saw the city’s name on a freeway sign and fell in love with it, according to the Riverside Press-Enterprise.
It got us to thinking of other products that honor Southland metropolises. There’s Chevy’s Malibu, Alhambra bottled water and Downy fabric softener (the alteration of Downey’s spelling didn’t fool us).
And, of course, there was the legendary stripper, Miss Beverly Hills.
BADDEST OF THE BAD: No sooner did we post our own exclusive odds on the winners of the March 23 Razzie Awards, an Oscar parody, than we heard from bad-movie fan Dave Kalin. His Internet poll clashed with ours.
While we picked Pamela Anderson Lee (“Barb Wire”) to nab Worst Actress honors, Kalin puts her in third place behind Whoopi Goldberg (“Bogus,” “Eddie,” “Theodore Rex” and all those telephone commercials) and Melanie Griffith (“Two Much”).
In the Worst Actor category, we made Jim Carrey (“The Cable Guy”) the favorite. But Kalin doesn’t even have him in the running. His favorite is Tom Arnold (“Big Bully,” “Car Pool,” and “The Stupids,” all allegedly released in 1996).
We just can’t get any respect. No wonder we’ve never been invited to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom.
miscelLAny:
MTV officials touring their sister company, Blockbuster, had some fun during a demonstration of the latter’s database, the Wall Street Journal reports. The MTVers persuaded a reluctant Blockbuster staffer to cross-index Sen. Ted Kennedy and O.J. Simpson “to see what tapes they had rented in common.” There was only one: “Grumpy Old Men.”