Attention, Shoppers

“Let me explain,” began my friend roxanne, a shopping war-rior. “First of all, you don’t want to eat before you shop. You want to look as thin as possible in those heartless mirrors.” This tactic had never occurred to me, a shopping wimp. “Shop until you begin to feel shaky,” Roxanne continued, “and then go have a little pick-me-up at the store’s restaurant.” So off I went to try her shop-till-you-starve strategy at four Southern California retail meccas. Well, if you want to know the truth, I skipped the shopping part and just went straight to lunch.

Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills has just opened a restaurant downstairs called Mariposa, Spanish for butterfly, which explains the whimsical red insect embroidered on waiters’ pale yellow shirts. The restaurant is attractive, with beige carpet and pale wood walls shocked with the dizzying primary colors of tapestries by Alexander Calder.

I spy a Diana Vreeland look-alike among the fashion mavens having lunch here, some of them sporting major jewels. Across the room, four other women hold hands while saying grace before, according to Neiman’s tradition, beginning their meal with a tiny, restorative cup of chicken bouillon. Then they merrily tear open the signature popovers, oversized and good with strawberry butter.

Restaurateur Drew Nieporent, whose establishments include Montrachet, Layla and Nobu in Manhattan, was brought in to consult on Mariposa’s California menu. It’s appealing enough to warrant a store visit even if you’re not planning to shop. There’s a lovely salad of crisp sliced pears, toasted hazelnuts, Gorgonzola and frisee in a berry vinaigrette strewn with ripe berries, and another of chilled marinated shrimp dabbed with a chunky housemade cocktail sauce spiked mightily with horseradish. A salad of smoked salmon topped with arugula and shoe-

string potatoes misses the mark, though: How are you supposed to eat it? You can’t thread the shoestring potatoes on your fork. The best dish is one of the spa entrees: seared whitefish in a wonderful lemon-artichoke broth full of earthy new potatoes, carrots and fennel.

Pastry chef Jeffrey Mark’s desserts are even more impressive. “The Mariposa” is a heavenly flourless chocolate cake layered with rich mocha mousse and chocolate praline crunch, with a heart of creme brulee. A superb warm chocolate souffle cake, molten at the center, sits in a latticework of vanilla bean sauce and a pale but intense mint sauce. I love the simplicity of “Melange a Poire,” the trio of moist almond ricotta torte, shivery panna cotta scented with Muscat, and sliced caramelized pear. And everyone is enchanted with the bandbox-pretty lemon Champagne mousse cake decorated with a Champagne glaze and precise orange polka dots.

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Over at Barney Greengrass, the elegant rooftop deli in Barneys New York, you can pamper yourself with a plate of beluga, osetra and sevruga caviar for $150 ($45 if you want sevruga only). Or save your pennies and order a New York egg cream, made with Fox’s U-Bet syrup, for 50 cents. And instead of the weak chicken soup, made with matzo balls that could be styrofoam for all their flavor, stick with the sumptuous smoked fish flown in several times weekly from Barney Greengrass, “The Sturgeon King” on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. You can order sturgeon, Nova Scotia salmon or sable in a sandwich, but don’t. They’re better as an appetizer plate, with a toasted bagel or bialys and cream cheese on the side.

The bread basket isn’t what it once was--what respectable deli would serve soggy, fat breadsticks? But the pickles are the real thing, the handmade matzo crackling is crisp and the bialys from Brooklyn put local versions to shame. If you want something fancier, consider the cold poached salmon in a tart herb sauce. In a store where presentation is everything, however, it’s odd that the food isn’t more beautifully plated or the service more prompt.

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Armani Cafe at the top of Emporio Armani in Beverly Hills is every bit as sleek and sophisticated-looking as you’d expect. The host and manager are attired in Armani, natch. And Armani-clad shoppers linger on the taupe banquettes beneath windows framed with cream Roman shades. But chairs are slipcovered in white twill that rides up at the back, an oversight that would make the master designer wince. And if that didn’t, then the food and service surely would. It takes what seems like hours for the food to arrive from the kitchen. And when dishes do come, they hardly resemble anything Italian.

Calamari are nicely fried, but the chunky tomato sauce that accompanies them tastes scorched and bitter. A Caprese salad is made with milky bocconcini, mediocre tomatoes and a heap of greens that comes totally undressed. Carpaccio looks classic: rare, thinly sliced beef with just a few lashes of mustardy sauce. But the meat is so cold that it must have come straight from the freezer, and rapidly turns watery. The veal scaloppine is slimy. Only linguine alle vongole is edible--the pasta cooked slightly al dente, with a nice dose of garlic and olive oil--that is, until you pluck one of the tough Manila clams from the shell. Given this cafe’s couture label, it’s a poor showing.

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Fashion Island in Newport Beach has plenty of glossy chain restaurants, but the stylish little cafe at Bloomingdale’s may be the most appealing place for lunch. Named 59th & Lex Cafe, after the New York department store’s familiar address, it has a black-and-white checkerboard floor, blond wood chairs and swanky white vinyl banquettes with pale green velvet cushions. There’s an outside space, too, with demure umbrellas and postmodern metal garden chairs.

The food is New York meets West Coast. Along with a terrific Reuben on grilled marbled rye and a grilled prime rib sandwich on squishy sourdough with crisp, golden fries, there’s a perky tuna Nioise, which is a slab of grilled fresh ahi set atop the green beans, potatoes, hard-boiled egg and greens. The big Caesar comes ornamented with shrimp or chicken. Wash it down with “Shopper’s Brew,” a sprightly blend of iced tea and homemade lemonade. I’m too slow to order Junior’s cheesecake; the waiter sheepishly tells me they just sold the last piece. It’s a setback, but I don’t suffer too much. I order a hefty slice of the rich, dark devil’s food cake instead. (If you really want to cast calorie-counting to the wind, consider the old-fashioned ice cream sundae, made with Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and topped with the works.)

My foraging complete, I can’t wait to report back to Roxanne. I’ll tell her that whenever I feel like lunch, I’ll know where to shop.

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Armani Cafe, Emporio Armani, 9533 Brighton Way, Beverly Hills; (310) 271-9940. Lunch Monday through Saturday, entrees $9 to $24.

Barney Greengrass, Barneys New York, 9570 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills; (310) 777-5877. Lunch daily, entrees $8 to $32. Caviar, $45 to $150.

59th & Lex Cafe, Bloomingdale’s, Fashion Island, 701 Newport Center Drive, Newport Beach; (714) 729-6709. Lunch daily, entrees $7.50 to $10.75.

Mariposa, Neiman Marcus, 9700 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills; (310) 550-5900. Lunch and afternoon tea Monday through Saturday. Entrees $10.50 to $16; afternoon tea, $3 to $14.50.