Two Thumbs Down on Radio Slogan

Oxnard, once the butt of Johnny Carson jokes, is lashing back at Los Angeles. KCAQ-FM (104.7), a local hip-hop radio station, has posted billboards in Ventura County urging listeners, “Flip off L.A.”

Hey! Maybe that’s why I seem to be on the receiving end of that gesture so often on the freeways these days.

OXNARD, OXNARD: But I have no hard feelings toward the town, especially when it inspired the lovely lyrics of “October in Oxnard,” written by Clark Maffitt and Brian Davies several years ago. All together now:

That night at Point Mugu,

We whispered words of love so sweet.

And as we kissed I felt

The grunion spawning ‘neath my feet.

A DINING INSTITUTION: L.A. landmarks too often are bulldozed into history so it’s reassuring to know that, after 17 years, McDonald’s amazing wrong-side drive-through is still functioning--sort of--on Ventura Boulevard in Encino.

One of the few of its kind, the drive-through passes the food into the car via the passenger window (see photo). Why? When the drive-through was added, the original structure already had a patio where the window normally would be. So the operation was installed on the opposite side.

Bad news for singles, unless they’re driving British cars.

SANTA MONICA AIRPORT IS QUIET BY COMPARISON: You have to commend the Santa Monica landlord whose local newspaper ad disclosed possible noise problems surrounding one available unit (see excerpt).

MORE FOLKS FLIPPING OFF L.A.: New York transit executive Michael Ascher turned down the job of Metropolitan Transportation Authority chief last week amid reports that he was seeking a $100,000 bonus to cover anticipated moving losses, including the sale of his boat. (He couldn’t dock it in Marina del Rey--or Oxnard?)

He’s only the latest outsider to just say no to executive posts in the no-longer-so-heavenly City of Angels. Openings that have proved tough to fill in L.A. in recent years include:

* MTA chief: Before Ascher, Bechtel Corp. executive Theodore Weigle Jr. rejected the job in May. Reasons not disclosed.

* UCLA football coach: Northwestern’s Gary Barnett refused an offer from the Westwood school in early 1996. Reason: Family concerns, among others. “The airport, the practice field, the training table--coaches don’t live anywhere,” he said, “but coaches’ wives do.”

* L.A. County coroner: Allegheny County (Pa.) Coroner Joshua Perper declined the $150,000-a-year post in 1991, citing housing costs. After a visit, his wife, Sheila, commented: “In California, everything looks like a slum.”

* L.A. Zoo director: Atlanta Zoo Director Terry Maple rejected the job in 1991 because of its low salary (then $93,700) and the cost of housing.

* L.A. Dodger third baseman: Gary Gaetti, then with the Minnesota Twins, turned his back on a lucrative 1987 offer to move to L.A. “I hate the Dodgers,” he explained.

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To those who want to start their Christmas shopping early, Art Vinsel of San Pedro and Amy Mahony of Granada Hills point out that a tape of Kato Kaelin’s book, “The Whole Truth,” is on sale--at the 99 Cent Only Store.