Torturous Speed Bumps: Hill on Wheels for Motorists

The questions hit you a split-second after your neck snaps, your teeth rattle and your shoulders slap your ears.

WHO PUT THAT #@&!$* SPEED BUMP THERE?

Why ruin a perfectly smooth road or parking lot with a chassis-pounding, wheel-warping, brain-jarring lump of asphalt?

Where does it say that speed bumps must be 8 inches thick, sharp as the New York skyline and designed to instantly disassemble a car’s front end?

And wasn’t that the oil pan I left back there on the road?

Street Smart’s own speed bump archenemies lie in Simi Valley, slumbering innocently beneath flaking coats of yellow paint at Sycamore Plaza, infesting an otherwise safe parking lot like vicious land mines.

These nasty, rump-spanking torture logs are the type that hurt no matter how slowly you drive over them. And--for what it’s worth--they do their job.

But some people--get this--actually want speed bumps:

Dear Street Smart:

I would like some information about the possibility of having speed bumps installed on our street.

We live on Rikkard Drive, near the intersection of Laurelwood Drive, in Thousand Oaks. Our house is at the bottom of a long hill where people come down Rikkard at excessively high speeds. The street also has a slight curve to it, so there is not much forward vision for the driver.

My concern is not only for us--we have a 3-year-old--but also for many of my neighbors who have children. I see this as a disaster waiting to happen.

What would be involved in getting a project like this off the ground?

Gary Ghazarian

Thousand Oaks

Dear Reader:

First of all, you’re looking for speed humps, not speed bumps, or--as the British call them--”sleeping policemen.”

Humps, the gentler variety of sloping, government-designed obstacles, can be driven over comfortably at 25 mph or less. But bumps, the more brutal, privately installed models, rise more sharply from the pavement to give a nastier jolt to all drivers.

But Thousand Oaks Traffic Engineer Jeff Knowles says it’s easy.

Just persuade the majority of your neighbors that they would actually prefer driving over speed bumps every single morning and night for the rest of their lives on Rikkard.

“He needs to make an appointment or write a letter to [city Traffic Engineer] Jim Mashiko,” Knowles said. “The way to start the procedure is to get a petition form, since the speed hump would impact everybody that would live on the street.”

If as many as 60% of the neighbors consent, the city would study traffic patterns and street configuration to make sure that the speed hump was warranted, then plunk down one or more bars of asphalt 12 feet wide and up to 3 inches high, Knowles said.

Oh, and the city would install signs saying speed bump, Knowles said, “because kids would be ripping off the signs if they said ‘SPEED HUMP.’ ”

Dear Street Smart:

The city of Thousand Oaks needs left-turn arrows on both sides of Gainsborough Road where it intersects with Moorpark Road.

I have witnessed serious accidents at that intersection twice in the past two weeks. I don’t know how many other accidents there may have been at other times, but I have come close myself several times in the past year.

A sensor would probably do the job quite well. Please advise.

Arthur Hoberman

Thousand Oaks

Dear Reader:

Believe it or not, a left-turn arrow is no guarantee of a safer intersection, Knowles says. In fact, left-turn arrows and special turn lanes can often create more opportunities for wrecks.

The lanes cut down on room for through traffic, and the lights slow the entire intersection cycle because light-controlled pedestrian crossings on Moorpark cannot happen at the same time as left turns from Gainsborough, Knowles says.

Besides, he says, none of the accidents at that intersection in the past year involved people turning left from Gainsborough to Moorpark. So, the city has no plans for left-turn arrows and lanes there for the time being.

However, the city will be installing left-turn signals and lanes at other Moorpark Road intersections more in need of care, such as the crossings of Lynn Road and Avenida de Los Arboles, Knowles says. Please, do take care.

Dear Street Smart:

There is something about the intersection of Collins and Campus Park drives in Moorpark that I find rather disconcerting.

Why is it that this seems to be the only intersection for which the traffic lights are timed rather than traffic-dependent?

I can’t tell you how many times I have been waiting to cross Campus Park when the oncoming left-turn lane across the intersection from me is given a green arrow--even though there are no cars trying to turn left.

If there were sensors installed, couldn’t they turn off the left-turn arrow, and allow northbound and southbound traffic on Collins to proceed through the intersection?

As it is, northbound Collins traffic must wait, and wait, and wait for a southbound left-turn arrow that is unneeded.

Jordan Penn

Thousand Oaks

Dear Reader:

The city of Moorpark is already at work on your problem.

Noting that empty green-arrow lanes are holding up the bulk of through traffic at Collins and Campus Park drives, the city has asked the state Department of Transportation to shorten the time the arrows are on from 10 seconds to two or three, says John Whitman, city traffic consultant.

Soon, Moorpark will be taking over control of the intersection from Caltrans, and it may do more tweaking of the times and triggers, including eliminating pointless wait times altogether, Whitman says.

A CHANGE OF TOPIC: Readers, we need your help in expanding the Street Smart dialogue. In coming weeks, we’d like to tackle such new and diverse subjects as pollution, illegal car modification and Ventura County’s most dangerous intersections. Please write on these subjects and any other driving topic that interests you. This is your column too.

Peeved? Baffled? Miffed? Or merely perplexed? Street Smart answers your most probing questions about the joys and horrors of driving around Ventura County. Write to: Street Smart, c/o Mack Reed, Los Angeles Times, 93 South Chestnut St., Ventura, 93001. Include a simple sketch if needed to help explain. E-mail us at Mack.Reed@latimes.com or call our Sound Off line, 653-7546. In any case, include your full name, address, and day and evening phone numbers. Street Smart cannot answer anonymous queries, and might edit your letter.