Silent Longing
Here in the world swimwear capital, it seems a man could find any style of trunk imaginable. Even if he hasn’t exercised since George Bush was president.
But would it flatten his gut? Slim his hips? Make his thighs appear tree trunk-like? Beef up the caboose? Would he care?
Maybe you don’t hear the same disappointed sighs of disgust and muffled whimpering from males that one catches drifting from women’s dressing rooms. But some men do suffer swimsuit angst.
Yes, men care some about how they look, retailers and designers say, but society doesn’t expect them to care as much as women care. And, unlike women, men don’t discuss it.
Just listen to what was not said as men bought swimwear at a mall and at coastal shops recently.
“I need a size medium,” says the middle-aged man at a store at MainPlace / Santa Ana. “Do you have it in this rust color?”
The sales associate offers to check in back and finds the trunks. He asks the man--who resembles an aging lifeguard with what appears to be a 36-inch waist and a 20-pound fanny pack of flesh spilling over his belt--would he like to try the trunks on? The man shoots a “what a dim bulb you are” look and shakes his head.
In five minutes, the guy has bought a swimsuit. It all seemed so painless, so devoid of suffering.
But men point out that they do not have the choices women do with swimsuits. While it may be disheartening for a woman to switch from a two-piece to a one-piece--or, yikes, a skirted suit--women at least have a choice.
“You have it easy,” says one man bemoaning his few extra pounds. “If you’re wearing a bikini, that’s one thing, but you have the option to wear a one-piece suit. We are completely exposed from the waist up,” he says, patting his stomach.
So we asked merchants, designers and men at the beach what they look for in a suit and which styles most flatter various physiques.
About the only consensus is that none dare don the unforgiving Speedo unless he is a competitive swimmer or has a nearly flawless shape.
“If I was 30 pounds overweight and had to wear a Speedo,” says one fortysomething professional who surfs, “now that would be some major angst.”
At Huntington Surf and Sport, not a single male utters a word exiting the dressing rooms--except “I’ll take this one.” Usually he has taken in all of two swimsuits to try on.
The premier male swimsuit in these parts is the board short, which has a lace-up closure, fitted waist and rear, and a fuller knee-length leg.
Does anyone ask them for the most flattering trunk?
“Not at all,” says Jasen Nielsen, 21. “We carry 40, 42, 44s, but we have like one of each, maybe.” He says no matter what size trunks are bought in, men are buying darker or neutral colors with reflective strips.
Stussy, Counter Culture, Gotcha, Split, Rusty, Katin, Billabong, Quiksilver and other Orange County-based swimwear companies--or the surfers who wear their products--cut the edge on swimwear trends globally.
Board-short makers say they give little attention to flattering a certain body type.
Paul Mittleman, a designer for Irvine-based Stussy, says longer and baggier legs are what hard-core surfers wear now.
“I’ve been at sales meetings, where my trunks have been sold,” says Mittleman, 29, “and it’s never, ‘Well, do they fit well?’ It’s all appearance, not fit. [Whether] it’s tie trunks, tie waist or snaps? Is it three ties or two? Those are real issues.”
Mike Schillmoeller, co-owner of Irvine-based Counter Culture, says utility dictates style.
“Our target market is [age] 12 to 30. With that in mind, it’s not like we go, ‘Hey, you know what? We’ve got to be real concerned with this size or that size,’ ” Schillmoeller says. “We don’t go into it that way. We think of a) function, and b) color. It’s not like, ‘Hey, lets make this guy look good.’ ”
The elastic-waist trunk generally does not require much dressing room time. The waist is the defining size, and even that is expandable. Such suits often are lightweight nylon with liners.
“Men 30 and older tend to wear them; they’re more conservative,” Lafayette says. “Board shorts, I guess you’d say are a little more temperamental. You really gotta try those on.”
Over at Macy’s, Mercedeh Attari says the most flattering cut of waistband for a man with a poochy tummy “is to wear a flat front.” She refers to a Tommy Hilfiger swim trunk with a flat front and a short panel of elastic at the back.
“But I’d say something not too tight and fitted.”
Rick Shuster, manager of the Speedo Authentic Fitness shop in MainPlace / Santa Ana, says the traditional competition suit, which is what people typically call a Speedo, is ideally worn by the pool athlete or “catalog model guy.”
But Speedos are the standard swimsuit in Europe and are popular in Australia.
Square-cut retro looks from the 1950s are very hot this summer for men and women, but Shuster cautions that the wearer has “to have little or no middle section. They are not forgiving.”
The standard Speedo has 3-inch sides, but the bikini style is a mere inch. Most American Speedo customers are water polo players and swimmers, and opt for the standard.
A challenge with selling Speedos is that a customer usually wears a size larger than his pant size. This is where ego emerges. “Men say, ‘What do you mean I have to go up a size?’ It’s especially common with very fit people,” Shuster says.
Most mainstream retailers interviewed said the average male customer is replacing an old pair of swim trunks, wants the same thing again, and probably in navy or black. “If swim trunks are high mid-thigh, not real baggy, have an elastic waist in a solid color,” Shuster says, “they will look OK.”
Is there a Speedo horror story to share?
Shuster strides into a stockroom and returns with perhaps the largest pair of Speedos on the planet. They are blue with a marbled pattern. Waist size 44. A European man of large stock insisted on seeing them. As a humanitarian gesture, Shuster urged against the purchase. The customer, however, rejected the hefty Speedos for a less obvious reason: He felt the suit unduly chaste.
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Tips to Look Your Tops
Overall advice for the physique-challenged male shopping for a flattering swimsuit: Be honest about your dimensions. Designer Mr. Blackwell offers these further tips.
THE CHALLENGE: A FULL WAIST
DO’S:
* Wear elastic waistband, or a flat front with elastic at the back of the waistband. It’s best if elastic starts at the back of the hip.
* Legs slightly loose but no excessive width.
* Try a three-color suit: one color in an upside down triangular panel at the front, even off-centered; another color around it; and a third darker vertical color that starts at the front of the hip and ends at the back of the hip. This minimizes the hip area and draws your eye along the color lines rather than your lines.
DON’TS:
* No skin-hugging fabric.
* No horizontal stripes.
* No prints, especially large prints.
THE CHALLENGE: THIN BUILD
DO’S:
* Try a larger pattern. The eye focuses on the pattern instead of your small proportions.
* Wear bright colors; you can pull it off.
* Slightly looser and longer leg, but don’t overwhelm your proportions with excessive bagginess.
DON’TS:
* Avoid very short and wide leg, which will make you look like a stick figure.
* No tight Lycra or clinging fabric.
THE CHALLENGE: HEAVY CHEST
DO’S:
* Consider short sleeved shirt, unbuttoned.
DON’TS
* If you try a tank shirt, make sure it’s not so tight it squeezes over you.
THE CHALLENGE: SHORT
DO’S:
* Remember scale. Too much or too little fabric in relation to your size may minimize your height.
DON’TS:
* Avoid wearing trunk legs too long; you will appear shorter.
