Of Course, You Know That This Must Mean War

Reporters at North Carolina basketball Coach Bill Guthridge’s first post-Dean Smith press conference were puzzled by the 60-year-old rookie coach’s opening comments:

“We have decided today to withdraw the troops and no more bombing raids, and hopefully there will be peaceful coexistence among the two groups,” he said with a straight face as reporters tried to figure out what he was talking about.

Then Guthridge threw in his punch line:

“As many microphones here, you would think some world-shattering incident has happened.”

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Trivia time: What pitcher threw three shutouts in one World Series?

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Is this an omen? Kevin Brown of the Florida Marlins and Orel Hershiser of the Cleveland Indians both lent their upper lips to the celebrity “milk mustache” campaign of the Milk Processor Education Program.

Both lost in their World Series starts.

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Brotherly love: The 1-2 finish of Terry and Bobby Labonte two weeks ago in the DieHard 500 at Talladega, Ala., was the 22nd time brothers had finished first and second in a Winston Cup race. It was the third time for the Labontes. The Flock brothers, Tim, Fonty and Bob, did it 13 times, and Bobby and Donnie Allison had five brotherly finishes. The other one went to Herb and Donald Thomas.

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Star wars: Sports researchers say eye sockets account for 20% of the resistance while swimming, so one swimwear manufacturer has designed a mask with built-in goggles that will smooth out the turbulence between the cap and the goggle and improve the flow of water around the eye sockets by up to 53%.

It covers the ears and stops even with the point of the nose. Its ribbed sides and sleek fit make it look like something from “The X-Files” sci-fi television series.

“I actually had a bit of a giggle,” Australian Olympic gold medalist Susan O’Neill said. Fellow Australian Michael Klim said, “it’s a bit alien-like when you wear it.”

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Global golf: When Lisa Hackney of England earned the LPGA rookie-of-the-year award this year, she became the eighth foreign player in the last 10 years so honored.

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Batting around: Tony Fernandez’s 11th inning homer against the Baltimore Orioles did more than ensure that the Cleveland Indians would play in the World Series.

It meant Hillerich & Bradsby wouldn’t have to make an extra set of bats. The company, which makes Louisville Slugger bats, was on a tight deadline to produce bats for the start of the World Series.

If the Orioles had won that Game 6, the company would have had to produce bats for players from both Baltimore and Cleveland to ensure that the winner of Game 7 had special bats for the Series.

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Trivia answer: Christy Mathewson of the New York Giants in 1905--in a five-game series.

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And finally: According to a poll in Boating magazine, more boat owners carry pictures of their boats in their wallets than pictures of their spouses or children. And 71% are more likely to remember the day they bought their boats than the day they met their spouses.