A Fan’s Ode to Slugger Streisand

The arrival of the baseball season and Barbra Streisand’s birthday this month inspired a poem from John Tree of Nutley, N.J. In the verse, which he faxed to The Times, an admiring Tree noted a numerological link between the Brooklyn-born star and New York-area Hall of Famers Duke Snider, Willie “the Say Hey Kid” Mays and Jackie Robinson.

There was Duke, Willie, and Jackie, their uniform numbers were 4-24-42,

And on that day arrived a very special female--you.

OK, she ain’t no “Duke,” maybe not even a duchess; “Say Hey Kid” you’re not! “Hey Say?” Oy vey! No way!

That leaves Jackie Robinson--the names they called him I shan’t repeat.

Of mine he was Hero, not only in baseball, ‘cause he just wouldn’t be beat!

He had talents, brains and courage, on and off the playing field

Yo Barbra--like Jackie!

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FROM STREISAND TO MIGHTY JOE YOUNG: Adding to our list of things you’ll never see in Dubuque, Shirley Leon enclosed an L.A. Film Office notice for the shooting of a tender scene of “Mighty Joe Young” in the Walnut area (see enclosed). Gorillas, gunfire, helicopters--just another day in L.A.

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CALLING ACE VENTURA, PET DETECTIVE: At a rest stop along the San Bernardino Freeway, Tom Greene of L.A. came upon a set of dueling signs that might give Mighty Joe Young pause (see photo).

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DON’T BLAME THIS ONE ON EL NINO: The recent prediction of an asteroid hitting Earth in the year 2028 is similar to the plot of “End of the Age,” a novel by televangelist Pat Robertson, in which a giant meteor strikes the coast of California in the year 2000.

Ensuing tidal waves leave Southern California under 5,000 feet of water. Oy vey!

The only survivors in this region are the members of a family on Mt. Wilson. They were there because the husband is an engineer at Channel 11 and he was repairing a faulty transmitter. He and his family are flown to New Mexico, where he helps rebuild what Robertson envisions as a new society.

Scary isn’t it?

I mean, an employee of Rupert Murdoch having that responsibility.

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AN ALMOST-ACCURATE PROFILE: “Is it true Lee Jackson?” began the computer-generated letter from Essence Magazine to Lee Jackson of Pico Rivera.

“We have it you’re an African American woman who’s naturally intelligent, inquisitive, beautiful, sensuous, sophisticated, self-assured, classy, proud, strong, caring, sexy, overflowing with love and potential and moving ahead in your life.”

Said Jackson: “I’m a man and I’m white. However, I’ll take credit for the attributes described.”

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WHOLESOME CRIMINALS REPORT: In the police log of the beach publication Easy Reader, Eve Williams noticed this item:

“A Hermosa Beach resident reported that someone broke into her house on March 30 and stole a Bible, miscellaneous Disney videos and a homemade quilt.” The newspaper’s headline wisecracked: “When Osmonds Go Bad.”

miscelLAny:

Al Hix of Hollywood read in the Fedco Reporter that an 1851 census of L.A. County found 8,329 residents and just one industrial firm--a baking company. Of course, Hix said. The cops had to have somewhere to hang out back then, too.

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The sophisticated Steve Harvey can be reached by telephone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.