Punch Lines

All Ears: Jay Leno beat Hulk Hogan in a tag-team wrestling match. “Look for David Letterman to challenge Mike Tyson to an ear-biting contest.” (Russ Myers)

High as a Kite: U.S. adventurer Steve Fossett is well into his fourth attempt to make the first nonstop trip around the world in a balloon. “His equipment is very durable; the balloon is one of the ones that survived a Charlie Sheen sobriety test.” (Alex Kaseberg)

All in the Family: O.J. Simpson’s daughter, Arnelle Simpson, was fined and sentenced to two days in jail for drunk driving. “Apparently, the judge didn’t buy her story that Colombian drug dealers got her drunk and drove her car into a house.” (Chris Pina)

Ride On!: “This isn’t the first time Gary Coleman had problems at work. Recently he was reprimanded for spending all of his time in front of Kmart riding the mechanical dolphin.” (“The Daily Show”)

Minimum Wages: Gov. Pete Wilson signed legislation prohibiting the employment of premature babies in California film and TV productions. “Now the only job opportunities left for premature babies are at Kathie Lee Gifford’s sweatshops.” (David Christensen)

Media Spots: TV reporters from around the world gathered near the Washington, D.C., courthouse for Monica Lewinsky’s testimony. “It was old home week for many of these people. They haven’t seen each other since Camp O.J.” (Argus Hamilton)

Harlot Hardships: Heidi Fleiss says running a call-girl business is tough work. She said it would be easier to run GM than to do what she was doing. “Actually, they’re pretty much the same already, aren’t they?” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Trading Places: Criticizing the entire investigation by Kenneth Starr, Susan McDougal said, “I’m glad I’m not Monica Lewinsky.” “To which President Clinton responded, ‘That makes two of us!’ ” (Jerry Perisho)

A Killer Tune: Police in Washington state are searching for three teenage girls who robbed a bank. “The note they handed the teller read, ‘Put all the money in a bag or we’ll blast the place with Spice Girls tunes!’ ” (Perisho)

Sweet Spot: “Monica Lewinsky testified last week that the stain on her dress was icing from a cinnamon roll. Ken Starr responded, ‘Not the dress you’re wearing now, we’re talking about the one in the lab!’ ” (David Craig)

* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.