Jail Is About Only Thing Bears Can Beat

Running back Bam Morris, who recently signed with the Chicago Bears after having spent 89 days in jail for violating his probation on a marijuana possession charge, wants it known that he’s happy to be back in a football uniform.

“Being locked up in jail was an eye-opener,” Morris said. “If I trip up again, I’ll be gone for 10 years. Maximum security. I can’t be in the same bed with my wife. I can’t go to the park with my daughter.

“I wouldn’t say this is my second or third chance. This is my last chance.”

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Trivia time: Which is the oldest continuously run pro football franchise?

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Regional news: A couple of Detroit news commentators were startled when they saw the newspaper headline: “OSU, PSU Struggle to Fund Athletics.”

“Ohio State and Penn State in the throes of financial crisis?” they wondered, incredulously.

The headline was in the Oregonian. OSU and PSU were Oregon State and Portland State.

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Long time ago: When tobacco companies first began to sponsor Formula One cars in the late 1960s, a potential advertiser made a pitch to Enzo Ferrari.

“I don’t smoke, and my cars don’t either,” was his haughty reply.

Ferrari died in 1988. Now Ferraris are sponsored by Marlboro.

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Rating wrecks: Defending Formula One champion Jacques Villeneuve walked away from a spectacular crash during a practice session for the Belgian Grand Prix last week.

“Everything’s OK, the knee’s a little bit bruised but nothing major,” he said. “This was my best crash in Formula One.”

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One to remember: Sammy Sosa, who was a shoeshine boy growing up in the Dominican Republic, says of all the players whose shoes he shined, the best tipper was former St. Louis Cardinal pitcher Joaquin Andujar.

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Pro background: Spark Coach Orlando Woolridge says what the WNBA needs is more coaches from the professional ranks.

“A lot of coaches in the league come from college programs, which are very structured,” he said. “This is professional basketball, and for the level of play to go up, there has to be an enhancement of creativity. A lot of these women can be creative.”

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Trivia answer: The Arizona Cardinals, who began life in 1898 as the Morgan Athletic Club on Chicago’s South Side. The Cardinals moved from Chicago to St. Louis in 1960, then to Phoenix in 1988.

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And finally: After a game in which Seattle Mariner pitcher Ken Cloude gave up four home runs in three innings, Manager Lou Piniella tried to explain Cloude’s problem.

“He wasn’t locating the ball at all. He was missing. But he wasn’t missing their bats.”