Have Yourself a Perfect Little Christmas

A review of Week 15 in the NFL, and in this holiday season, a wonderful, warm story, as Brian Griese’s father, Bob Grinch, gets his wish: His son’s football team, the Denver Broncos, losing, so that his own team, the 1972 Dolphins, can remain the NFL’s only perfect team.

Pass the egg nog, please.

True Story

As the Broncos were moving toward a Miami showdown and the possibility of going 19-0 this season, Bob Grinch had told his boy he didn’t want him sharing any of his glory.

“I can’t understand where he’s coming from,” said Brian, Denver’s No. 3 quarterback and heir apparent to John Elway. “But I know how he is, and he don’t want to share nothing with nobody.”

Denver linebacker Bill Romanowski, hearing of Bob Grinch’s remarks, said at the time, “It’s too bad. I would think a dad would want his son to go undefeated and do what he did. I would think a dad would want to share his record with his son.”

Just wondering, but when little Brian Griese asked Santa Claus for a football, wonder how tough it was on Bob Grinch to deliver.

Almost Heavenly

The New York Post offered the feel-good headline, “New York! New York!” on the front page of the newspaper, along with the helmets of the Jets and Giants on the day after two of the most glorious victories in the history of the local football teams.

The Jets are alone in first place in the AFC East and the Giants ended the Broncos’ winning streak at 18 games.

It’s still raunchy New York, of course, so for balance the New York Daily News offered the feel-good headline, “Naked Nicole Takes B’Way” on the front page of its newspaper along with a picture of Nicole Kidman.

Too early to report which paper sold out first.

Phone Call--It’s Al

The Raiders were 6-2 at one time, even 7-3, but Coach Jon Gruden still has as many wins as Mike Shanahan had in his first year coaching the Raiders.

You think Gruden’s still calling all the shots?

“We didn’t play down to the opponent,” said Buffalo Coach Wade Phillips, the scariest prospect for any team playing the Raiders these days. “We played our game.”

How far have the Raiders sunk? They are two-point underdogs against the Chargers next Sunday, the same Chargers whose quarterbacks threw seven interceptions last Sunday against Seattle.

Stats To Ponder

The Giants are 10-0 under Coach Jim Fassel when leading at halftime, in most cases because the opposition is unable to overcome the shock of having fallen behind New York. . . . Arizona has been outscored by its opponents by 58 points, Tampa Bay has scored a dozen fewer points than its foes, but each remains alive to lose in the playoffs. . . . In yet another PSL turnoff, the Carolina Panthers, who started the practice of making fans pay a premium for the right to buy season tickets, only 46,940 showed up at Ericsson Stadium for Sunday’s game with the Redskins. But they still had to pay for their tickets. . . . Jerome Bettis, a.k.a. “the Bus,” has stalled--get it?--having failed to gain 100 yards in six of his last seven games.

Kiddie Update

Peyton Manning has thrown 24 touchdown passes, Ryan Leaf two, but who’s keeping track?

Speaking of Leaf, the made-for-TV movie Sunday night, “A Thousand Men and A Baby,” was not a biographical look at Leaf’s first year in the NFL.

Ouch

It should have been the best of days for the Patriots, a chance to breeze through St. Louis with an easy victory over the Rams, keeping them thick in the middle of the AFC playoff race.

Drew Bledsoe, a blubbering bust until he broke his finger, completed 64% of his passes after suffering a pair of fractures, compared to 54% when uninjured, and had an image change working.

But then the Patriots’ doctors decided to implant two pins in Bledsoe’s index finger--on his throwing hand--days before the game. And guess what, those pins tried to work themselves free as Bledsoe whipped pass after pass.

Bledsoe, the big baby, said it felt as if they were about to push their way through his skin. Something wrong with your left hand?

At the same time, the Patriots’ most dynamic offensive weapon, wide receiver Terry Glenn, was breaking his ankle. OK, not good, but to refresh everyone’s memories, the Patriots were playing the Rams.

The Rams won. Fact checkers were working late into the night to see if that was the first time this decade.

Everyone Knows It’s Fake

Kevin Greene, former Ram, now a Carolina Panther and a pro wrestler in the off-season, must have been unable to identify who tagged him after jumping off the bench and trying to pin his linebacker coach, Kevin Steele.

That would have been the logical explanation if Greene had been thinking, but he admitted later he was really attacking Steele.

The Panthers suspended Greene for one game, costing him $117,647.05. They could do that without fear of hurting their team because they play the Rams this week.

On the positive side, boys and girls, Panther safety Mike Minter said neither Greene nor Steele had used profanities. Greene merely wanted to beat the heck out of his boss, that’s all.

No More Smooching

Remember the attention Kordell Stewart got last year after his coach, Bill Cowher, was caught on the sidelines, well, kissing him?

OK, it was just a peck on the cheek, a reward for playing well against Baltimore, but that was Stewart screaming at his coach Sunday in Tampa Bay.

Cowher, who prides himself on being a tough guy, took it all, and after benching Stewart, which had prompted the outburst, put him back into the game.

A similar display by Jeff George in Atlanta two years ago resulted in his coach, June Jones, suspending him.

The Steelers, however, know what it would be like to play Mike Tomczak at quarterback. In his brief appearance against the Buccaneers, he fumbled, setting up a Tampa Bay score, and then threw an interception.

Tomczak or Stewart, the Steelers haven’t scored a touchdown in nine quarters and an overtime.

“We don’t have the look of a championship team, do we?” Bettis said.

Tuna & Vinny

Two years ago the Jets were 1-15. This week they can clinch their first AFC East title since the division came into being in 1970.

The arrival of Bill “Big Tuna” Parcells and quarterback Vinny Testaverde, an unlikely twosome, has been a smashing success. Although Parcells wasn’t bright enough to open the season with Testaverde as his starter--remember Glenn Foley?--Testaverde has gone 10-1 as a starter.

The Jets are in position to gain a first-round bye and avoid the Broncos until the AFC championship game. They have clinched their first playoff berth since 1991 and have won 10 games for the first time since 1986. Testaverde, long-time president of “Stiffs R Us” is the highest-rated passer in the AFC and has thrown 23 touchdown passes with only six interceptions. Imagine the Jets in the Super Bowl . . . Testaverde holding the Lombardi Trophy over his head like Elway--no way.