So Many Gifts, So Few Personal Shoppers

My mother would simply adore the Maxfield black-and-white cultured pearl necklace (Holiday Gift Guide, SoCal Style, Nov. 22). My dearest guy-pal could use a $125 necktie. My closest girlfriend, who is never on time, perhaps could mend her ways if she were the recipient of a $3,750 clock.

A $90 teak bowl would make a lovely hostess gift. And my dog would be my best friend for eternity if I were to have “the help” whip up a batch of Acme Dog Biscuits. I’ll have my personal assistant order two of everything.

Mmmm, but now as that third cup of coffee rouses me, I realize I have no “help” and no personal assistant, and I haven’t had a dog for years. As for my friend, she’ll probably be getting a $39 Timex.

People are living in shopping carts on the street, and if I had six-grand-and-change, I’d be donating it to a shelter rather than buying a necklace. (Sorry, Mom.)

Marielle Smith

Long Beach