Touched ‘Em All

Rewinding the greatest hits of the 1998 sports year--or, as the popular parlor game is known, “Six Degrees of Mark McGwire”:

McGwire hit 70 home runs for the St. Louis Cardinals,

Who finally agreed to a four-year, $7-million deal with holdout rookie outfielder J.D. Drew,

Who refused to sign in 1997 after being drafted by the Phillies,

Who play in Philadelphia,

Which is also home of the NBA 76ers,

Who in 1972-73 finished 9-73,

Which is the dubious record the Denver Nuggets nearly equaled at 11-71.

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McGwire turned the home run race of ’98 into a friendly, can-you-top-this rivalry with Sammy Sosa,

Who plays for a baseball team in Chicago,

Which is also home to the NBA Bulls,

Who won their sixth league title in eight years by defeating the Utah Jazz,

Who won the Western Conference championship with a 4-0 sweep of the Lakers,

Who hail from Los Angeles,

Which is where Jazz forward Karl Malone drew a few lockout paychecks while hosting a sports radio talk show.

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McGwire used to play for the Oakland A’s,

Who play across the bay from the San Francisco Giants,

Who share a stadium with the NFL 49ers,

Who lost the NFC championship game to the Green Bay Packers,

Who were thwarted from winning a second consecutive Super Bowl championship by the Denver Broncos,

Whose quarterback is John Elway,

Who finally won the big ring after three futile tries.

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McGwire played his college ball at USC,

Whose hated rival is UCLA,

Whose football team had an early-season game in Florida postponed because of a hurricane,

Which is the nickname of the football team at the University of Miami,

Which rescheduled that game for early December,

When UCLA scored 45 points and still lost by four,

Which cost UCLA a shot at the national-championship game in the Fiesta Bowl and sent the Bruins instead to the newly downgraded consolation game, the Rose Bowl.

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McGwire broke the single-season home run record held by Roger Maris,

Who used to play for the New York Yankees,

Who won 114 games en route to the American League pennant,

Which earned them a berth in the World Series against the San Diego Padres,

Who were led by an ornery starting pitcher named Kevin Brown,

Who kindled nationwide debate when he signed a seven-year, $105-million contract with the Dodgers,

Who had traded catcher Mike Piazza for being brazen enough to demand a seven-year, $105-million contract.

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McGwire trained for his historic season by lifting weights and ingesting a body-building supplement called androstenedione,

Which got shotputter Randy Barnes banned for life by the International Olympic Committee,

Which was rocked in December by a bribery scandal involving the Salt Lake City Organizing Committee,

Which is currently preparing to host the Winter Olympics,

Which were hosted in 1998 by Nagano,

Where it snowed so hard the drifts were taller than Tara Lipinski,

Who at 15 became the youngest figure skater to win an Olympic gold medal.

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McGwire hit his 70th home run against pitcher Carl Pavano,

Who plays for the Montreal Expos,

Whose $8.3-million payroll was almost $6 million less than the 1998 salary of Sergei Fedorov,

Who plays hockey for the Detroit Red Wings,

Who won their second consecutive Stanley Cup with a best-of-seven victory over the Washington Capitals,

Who are coached by Ron Wilson,

Who coached the U.S. Olympic hockey team that gave new meaning to the phrase “ugly Americans” by trashing their living quarters after crashing out of the tournament.

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McGwire joined the Cardinals in 1997 after trade negotiations broke down between the A’s and the Angels,

Who, contrary to their usually penurious nature, spent $80 million on free-agent first baseman Mo Vaughn,

Who used to play for the Boston Red Sox,

Who attempted to compensate for Vaughn’s departure by throwing big bags of money at free-agent infielder Jose Offerman,

Who once made large numbers of errors while attempting to play for the Dodgers,

Who were sold for $311 million to Fox magnate Rupert Murdoch,

Who was then forced to cut corners, unable to offer more than $1 billion to buy the English soccer club Manchester United.

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McGwire has a son who lives in Huntington Beach,

Which is not far from Newport Beach,

Which is the current residence of Lindsay Davenport,

Who became the first American- born female tennis player to be ranked No. 1 in the world since Chris Evert,

Who once dated Jimmy Connors,

Who once held the men’s No. 1 ranking for five consecutive years,

Which used to be the record before Pete Sampras came along and upped it to six.

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McGwire can now be seen in a magazine advertisement for milk,

Which is a drink also favored by Cal Ripken Jr.,

Who finally took a day off after appearing in 2,632 consecutive games for the Baltimore Orioles,

Who finished fourth in the American League East despite a payroll of more than $74 million,

Which was roughly $60 million more than the payroll of the Pittsburgh Pirates,

Who beat the Orioles in the World Series in ‘71,

Which is the number McGwire now shoots for in 1999.