LAUGH LINES

Class Act: The Senate will begin preparations for an impeachment trial. “Senators are promising the proceedings will be dignified. Heck, compared with the House, the ‘Jerry Springer Show’ is dignified.” (the Daily Scoop)

Check Please!: Hustler’s Larry Flynt took out newspaper ads offering $1 million to women who’d had affairs with U.S. congressmen. “He’s calling it the Publisher’s Clearing the House Sweepstakes.” (Argus Hamilton)

That’s Progress?: California’s population is expected to double by 2040. “The projections also show that by 2010 an estimated 47% of all California residents will be hosting or will have hosted their own late-night talk show.” (Bob Mills)

Coming Soon: Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are starring in the romantic comedy “You’ve Got Mail.” “It’s sure to spawn a sequel. Next, we’ll see Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Sheen and Christian Slater in ‘You’ve Made Bail.’ ” (Hamilton)

A Twofer: Honda is getting ready to bring a hybrid gas- and electric-powered car to the U.S. “Soon, car owners can be politically correct and pollute the environment at the same time.” (Ira Lawson)

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