The Mustard Isn’t Off Those U.S. Hot-Doggers

OK, so most American efforts at the Nagano Games have been better suited for the Pacific Coast League Winter Olympics.

Our ski jumpers pop up to shortstop while the Japanese go deep, deep, deep over the bleachers and into the parking lot.

Our cross-country skiers are utility men while the Norwegians bat cleanup.

Our biathletes are bench-warmers, our speedskaters are rookies, our men’s Alpine teamers are aging middle relievers simply trying to hang on. Even our men’s figure skaters, once the most reliable of seasoned vets, wound up taking the collar--Todd Eldredge pulling a Mighty Casey on his final at-bat.

For Team USA, it has been a Class AAA effort, by and large, with one glittering exception.

Our hot-dog skiers are the Murderer’s Row of the Nagano League.

Eric Bergoust of Missoula, Mont., and Nikki Stone of Westborough, Mass., won gold medals Wednesday in men’s and women’s aerial skiing, one week after Jonny Moseley of Tiburon, Calif., won the gold medal in men’s moguls skiing.

That’s three U.S. gold medals in four freestyle skiing events.

And if any of three Americans had skied to expectations in women’s moguls--Donna Weinbrecht, Liz McIntyre, Ann Battelle, take your pick--it could have been four for four, U.S. hot-doggers going for the cycle.

Bergoust is the Hermann Maier of aerials, a tough-as-granite daredevil who occupied himself as a kid by jumping off houses and garage roofs and small cliffs and into rivers. “My brother and I used to jump off everything,” Bergoust says.

He became a freestyle legend last year when he shattered his right collarbone in six places during practice five weeks before the 1997 world championships. Doctors prescribed an eight-week recovery period after needing six screws and a piece of cadaver bone to piece Bergoust back together, but The Berginator was practicing within four weeks and winning the silver medal within five.

His gold medal came attached to a world-record 255.64 points--with 133.05 on his first jump, the highest score ever received for a single jump in aerials.

Stone, the 1995 women’s world champion, made it an American sweep of the aerial golds with 193.00 points, landing the only triple-somersault of the women’s competition.

“I’m walking on sunshine,” Stone enthused after the victory, which is more than the men’s giant slalomists could say, their event postponed before they could try walking on icy slush.

Thus, Alberto Tomba’s last ride was pushed back another 24 hours, setting up a men’s giant slalom-women’s slalom doubleheader for Day 13.

That’s one good thing about Olympic hockey in Nagano. The games don’t get snowed out.

Another good thing about Olympic hockey in Nagano:

Women now get to play it.

Cammi and Gretchen and Lisa and Sarah went where Brett and Mike and John and Tony only go in their wildest dreams--to the top step of the medals podium after their 3-1 victory for Team USA over archrival Canada.

While the U.S. men, all highly paid professionals, fell all over themselves in a 4-1 embarrassment against Canada, the U.S. women played the world champion Canadians twice, beat them twice and outscored them, 10-5.

American women are doing it for themselves, same way they did in Atlanta, outdoing the men at almost every turn in team events.

A U.S. gold medal scorecard from the Atlanta and Nagano Olympics:

Gymnastics: Women--Yes. Men--No.

Soccer: Women--Yes. Men--No.

Softball/Baseball: Women--Yes. Men--No.

Basketball: Women--Yes. Men--Yes, and if they didn’t, Charles Barkley, Shaquille O’Neal and Reggie Lewis could have turned left at the Omni and just started walking until they reached Nova Scotia.

Ice Hockey: Women--Yes. Men--Will giddily be hoisting goblets of sake if they reach the semifinals.

And next up, the U.S. women’s figure skating Dream Team, America’s soup-swilling sweethearts set on sweeping every medal in sight.

Michelle Kwan is favored for the gold.

Tara Lipinski is favored for the silver.

Nicole Bobek would surprise no one if she skated away with the bronze.

And the American men?

They’ll be in the stands doing what they do best at the Olympic Games. Cheering.